Ash Like The Tree
by kyamei
Summary: After the unexpected death of his sister, Chase must travel halfway across the world for the arrangements, but once there he discovers something that will change his life.
1. Chapter 1

**Ash, Like The Tree**

**Author's note: This was a collective work, with me providing the idea, my sister writing it, and me proof-reading (to the best of my abilities!). It's our first fanfic. It will probably go on longer than 20,000 words, it's almost at fifteen thousand right now and we'll update regularly, probably twice a week. Thanks for reading. We'd love to get reviews! **

**Disclaimer: Don't own it. **

1.

He hadn't been thinking about her at all, it shamed him to admit it but he hadn't thought of her in months. The last time they saw each other had been years ago, and it hadn't been very pleasant for either of them. But when he came in that morning and heard Masters happily chatting with Foreman about how her little brother was graduating from school, and how Foreman's was actually pretty close to getting married now, she came right back to his mind, and he couldn't help but feel uneasy. Especially when the conversation turned to him.  
"So what about you, Chase?" Masters asked, "any siblings?" Foreman just looked at him expectantly, probably wondering why he hadn't bothered to ask about Chase's family before.  
"Little sister," he said, matter-of-factly, the way he thought wouldn't invite further questions. "But we don't see each other much."

"Does she live in Australia?"  
"No, she… moved to South Africa, I think? A couple of years ago."

She had actually called him when she made the move. It was time for a change, she said. It was after their father died and she wanted to make a life of her own, so she packed her bags and enrolled herself in school, as far away from Melbourne as she could afford, and that was one of the last times they'd talked. She might've left now, might be somewhere else. He didn't even have her address.  
"Cool." Masters said, and looked down, just as House walked through the glass doors of the conference room.  
"Sorry to interrupt your little chat, but since we don't have a case Cuddy requires our help down at the clinic. And by our help I mean your help. Now scram." They got up in silence as House retreated to his office and grabbed his portable TV.

It was later that night that Chase fumbled with the little piece of paper he had torn out of an old address book, one he'd had many years ago, and he was sure all the other numbers were lost. The ragged edges of this remaining paper were already turning mushy from the constant folding. The number had been pressed into some other books' pages, and he had gone through half his personal library before he found it, in the dust jacket of a Roald Dahl book. When he finally settled beside the phone it was already past midnight, and the streets below had quieted down enough for him to hear his own heart pumping hard in his chest, his eyes glassy from staring for so long at the number. Why was he even trying to call her now? Had he only just remembered? He had never really forgotten… She probably didn't want to speak to him anyways. Or did she? No, she knew his number too, if she wanted, she could've called. Ah, but she'd always been so proud…

He dropped the paper, and picked it right back up. He realized that if he didn't call now they might spend the rest of their lives separate, and he didn't want that. He had no other family, and it would be good to feel a little less alone.

He held his breath as the foreign waiting tone began, hands shaking in shrill panic, while some part of him still screamed at him to hung up!, hung up!, before she picked up. Fortunately she didn't take long.  
"Hello?" She said. He felt blood pounding in his face just hearing her voice, and he quieted down the part that told him it wasn't too late to drop this.  
"Claire?" He asked, though of course it was her, he already knew that.  
"Robbie? God…" she paused, there was movement. Her voice sounded really quiet. "Is everything okay?"

"No, I… I mean, yes, it's great… I… I just wanted to know how you were."

"I'm fine. Why are you calling?" she said, but she didn't sound hostile, like she had been so often when they had lived together, no… Now she just seemed curious.  
"Just... I don't know, I mean you're my sister, and it's been a while since you last called, so I just figured..."  
"It's okay… I was sort of hoping you would someday."  
"I'm not calling you out of guilt" He said a little too harshly, anticipating answer she hadn't given him. He took a breath. "No, I'm sorry… I'm sorry. I'm sorry we fought and I didn't keep in touch. You are the only family I've got left, I should've tried harder. I just… miss you."  
"Well, I… I didn't exactly make it easy on you, did I? I'm fine now. I promise. My life is good here." She said, not so cheerful now, she made a quick recovery. "I'm glad you called. I have so much I need to tell you. I'm sorry I pushed you away." She didn't have to say much more. She had been wild and reckless when she was younger, and when she got to drinking it brought back memories that Chase would have rather forgot. It had been easier to leave.  
"I wish you could be here with me," he said.  
"Yeah, so do I. It's been too long." She paused for some time, and Chase wondered if she had hung up on him, but then she returned. "Listen, I'm happy you called, but I have to go now okay?" There was some noise in the background, shouts and laughs. It was probably early morning there, and she had stuff to do.  
"Uh, yeah, sure."  
"Call me again? We'll talk over skype or something."  
"Okay. Take care." And the phone clicked, and she was gone.

He sighed. For the rest of the night the call replayed in his head and he felt excited by the prospect of speaking again, but it had already become too easy to push things like this off the back of his mind. When it was morning, he didn't call. He didn't make arrangements to visit, even though he wanted to. He told himself that work was now too busy for him to take a vacation. He didn't call her again, and neither did she. The team got a case shortly after and the workload got so heavy he forgot about it.

He was following House and the rest of the team down the hall to see their latest patient when he got the call. He recognized the extension immediately, but did not know the number. He fell behind in the hallway when they went in the patient's room, waving an apology gesture towards Foreman before picking up. In those brief moments, he wondered who it was, or if it was even a decent time to be calling given the difference in hours. It made him a bit uneasy, but didn't dwell on it.  
"Hello?" he said.  
"Is this Dr. Robert Chase?" The voice was unfamiliar, and Chase could only guess it belonged to a middle aged man, with a weird accent.  
"Yes... I'm sorry, who is this?  
"Sorry, this is Officer Ted Bale. Is your sister Claire Chase?" A sense of dread then washed through him, as if expecting a blow and being unable to avoid it. He became aware of his voice becoming more frantic as he continued the conversation.  
"Yes, yes, is she alright?" _Please don't say it. Please don't say it. Please don't say it._ Why hadn't he called again? Please let her be alright.  
"I am… very sorry, sir." The words felt like such a blow it knocked the breath right out of him, and he ended leaning against the wooden panels of the hallway, sliding slowly to the floor. "She was in a bus accident yesterday. She passed away. They have told me you are the one to be notified."  
"Wh...what? Oh God" He couldn't believe it then. It must be some kind of joke. Some kind of sick joke to get back at him for something.

Still firmly clenching the phone, he started making his way to the restroom, suddenly feeling sick. The man on the line kept talking, but Chase only heard bits and pieces. When he got to the locker room he was already sweating, and breathing hard.  
"We have to know if you'll take care of the arrangements." The man said. Chase found himself nodding before realizing he had to speak up.  
"Yes. I will" he said, his voice just a thread. "I'll be there as soon as I can"  
"I'm sorry for your loss, sir. Anything else just let me know."  
"Sure."

Chase took a moment to compose himself before going outside, since he felt, and probably looked, like he had just been punched. A single thought made a loop in his head. _I'm never going to see her again._ He tried picturing her from memory and the photos he had kept, but he ended up remembering her like a little girl, with her copper blonde curls and matching eyes. She was still a girl in his mind, he had never really known her as an adult…

He stayed on the floor for a while, his gaze fixed on the wall right ahead, trying to forget what he had just heard. Maybe if he closed his eyes long enough he could pretend it had all been a dream. Would it have made any difference, if he hadn't called her? Would he feel this lost?

He was washing his face on the sink when Foreman walked in.  
"Where the hell were you, man? We've been looking for you, you were supposed to do the tolerance test on Haylee." Chase finished drying his face and looked at Foreman's reflection on the mirror.  
"I have to leave right now" His colleague could see now the pain in his face, and his stern look turned to concern.  
"Why? Is everything alright?"  
"No... I... I got a call. My sister. I have to go." The words just stumbled out of his mouth. The call keep playing in his head and he felt as if the world would end if he said it out loud. He began picking up his stuff, leaving the white robe discarded on the floor. Finally, Foreman seemed to understand what he was trying to say.  
"God, Chase. I'm so sorry. Go, I'll tell Cuddy."  
Chase nodded in thanks and made his way out of the room. He didn't run into anybody on his way out and was thankful for that. He started making a list in his mind of things he had to do as he exited the hospital building, yes, a list was good, and the call and her voice stopped playing.

The wind was blowing hard outside, and with the recent snowfall it created almost white out conditions. The cold hit him like a rock on the first step out, every breath feeling painfully dry, but he didn't want to return for his coat, and he continued towards his car. The drive was fast, and he tried to focus all of his energy on the traffic.

His apartment greeted him the same way he had left it when he went to work that morning. For some reason he had expected it to be different, in some way at least, it was strange to feel like he was the only one who had changed. He picked up his clothes from the floor where he had left them and turned on every single light. He managed to buy tickets from his phone for very early the next morning, making a lengthy connection in Heathrow, but he would arrive in a little more than a day.

He sat on the bed, exhausted though he hadn't actually done anything, and he sighed. That was it. He had no family now. The fact that he had actually managed to have a nice conversation and apologized before she passed did little to make him feel any better. What had they said to each other anyway? It had just been a short talk with little content other than the very late 'I'm sorry's.

He had to stop thinking about it. He began taking his old suitcase from the closet, he threw in the suit he had worn at his wedding, and then quickly filled it with things he would need, or thought he'd need. How long would he be gone? God, it had been long since he'd last left Princeton… Considering he only had a one way ticket, and the fact that he wasn't overly eager to return to his job in diagnostics, he prepared for a moderate stay. After all, he had almost a month of unused holidays; he might as well make use of them.

He managed to finish packing, still calm and composed, and he left the luggage standing beside the door and headed towards the kitchen. Sitting there, Chase felt more alone that he had in a long while, even though hardly anything had changed. He didn't want to be idle, and stood to fix himself something to eat, but then the silence around him was interrupted by the trilling of the phone. A faint glimmer of hope passed through his mind. Maybe they confused her, or somebody stole her documents, maybe she's alright and...  
"Chase?" His reverie was interrupted by the answering machine."It's Martha" the voice said "Masters. Foreman told me about your sister, and I just wanted to say I'm sorry and...just let me know if you need anything. Take care."

He should have expected the condolences calls, but for some reason they made him angry. That they were all fine and happy with their own messy families and that he was all alone, and that he had been alone for so long before and only really noticed it now, when there was nothing to be done about it. He got messages from Foreman, then Taub and then Cuddy, who told him to take all the time he needed. He was already lying in bed when the phone rang again.  
"Chase, pick up" It was House. "Pick up the phone, or you are fired." He scoffed, and stretched towards the receiver.  
"What do you want, House?" He said, as aggressively as he could manage without his voice breaking.  
"Just making sure I still had the correct number." He said in a mocking tone. Chase was ready to hang up when he talked again. "Foreman said you're going to the bush land, I have a bet going on that you'll get lost. So don't hurry back."  
"I'm not going to the _bush land_. Can't you manage a 'take your time' like Cuddy did?"  
"Yeah, well, but not irreversibly lost. I don't want to go through the interview process again, it's a bore, and I'm out of flowers."  
"Ok, whatever, goodbye House" He hung up the phone and returned to bed. He knew the next day was going to be a long one, but still sleep was avoiding him, and Claire's face, her ten-year-old face, hovered above him when he closed his eyes. He remembered the watch on his nightstand making one o'clock before he was awoken again by the alarm. It felt like he had just blinked, and not slept at all.


	2. Chapter 2

**Ash, Like The Tree**

**Author's note: Just a word of warning, the research gone in this story is not big. There are probably mistakes in form, but I don't think they're much relevant to the story, they are details as in legal procedure and the like, and we've made up some of it. I haven't been to the places I describe so obviously it's never going to be completely accurate, but I try. Hope you like it, and leave reviews, thanks those who've put this in story alert or reviewed already! Comments are welcome! **

**Disclaimer: Don't own it. **

2.

It was morning, but when he dragged his suitcase across the street it left marks over fresh powder, the lamps were still on, and there was a heavy white fog that seemed to swirl when a car passed. He shivered, he hadn't brought his big jacket, but it was fine once in the cab, and he knew he wouldn't need it later. The airport was also cold, but the flight left in time, and though there was turbulence he managed to sleep through most of it. He missed his jacket again in the layover in Heathrow, but he was glad he didn't have to carry it around once he landed in Cape Town the next day's morning, and the sun hit him full in the face.

Had it been this warm in Australia? Probably, but it had been a long time since he had been there, so he couldn't be sure. He had to squint as he stepped down the stairs, but once it cleared he saw the airport building lit up, and the hills behind, and he couldn't remember the last time he saw the sun shine like that or the sky that blue. But it was midday, the start of summer, and it was very hot. The thin grey shirt and pants he was wearing seemed like too much clothes, and he was already sweating when he got to the exit terminal. How he was going to handle a suit in these conditions, he had no idea. He made a call to the officer that had first brought him the news, and he directed him to the police station, then to a lawyer to who was supposed to be helping him, but that spoke with such a thick accent he hardly understood anything she said.

He took a taxi to the address the officer that called had given him, and his little car sped and swerved over the traffic, talking very fast about anything from history to politics. Chase noticed that Claire's accent had been a little like theirs, the Aussie in it not entirely gone but faded. He smiled remembering her voice, and he wished he had called sooner, he wished he had had a real, long conversation. She must've loved this place, yes, it was beautiful, just looking out the car's window, he passed through a street lined up with bougainvilleas in bloom, and at points he caught a glimpse of the sea. If circumstances had been different, he probably wouldn't have waited to get to the beach.

"Hello, I'm looking for Officer Bale?" He asked a chubby clerk once he got inside the building.  
"Just a moment, sir" she said, acknowledging him. She turned back but before she had a chance to pick up the phone a man approached.  
"Robert Chase?" he asked, and Chase recognized his grave voice from the calls, though he didn't look nothing like he'd imagined; he was tall and very skinny. "Follow me please" He led him to another room, that looked like it was probably his office. "I'm Ted Bale."  
"Yes" Chase answered, unsure. "We talked on the phone."

"I'm very sorry about your sister, Mr. Chase, terrible accident. She was my neighbour for many years... I've been in contact with a Ms. Emma Decker, a close friend, and she has arranged the transport to the funerary home, where Claire is now. I've already talked to Claire's lawyer regarding Ash. Has she mentioned it? She is staying with Ms. Decker in the apartment your sister rented until her guardianship is settled, so you might want to talk to them" He pushed a paper with a bunch of names and addresses written down. Chase didn't take it, he just raised his eyes.  
"Ash?" he said in a hushed voice.  
"Your sister's daughter. I take it… you didn't know about her." A daughter. Was she a baby? How did she never mention it? Why didn't she? He rubbed his forehead nervously, God, it was hot…  
"No, no… I didn't" he managed to answer, stuttering a little. Dale sighed.  
"Well, according to Claire's lawyer, she named you as the designated guardian should anything happen to her, add to the fact that you are her closest, and apparently only relative, you're the obvious choice. I thought she'd had told you already, but maybe she didn't want to do it on the phone." The man stopped talking, and Chase stood and went over to the window. He shook his shirt, the air felt wet and he'd never imagined he'd missed the dry air in winter New Jersey. He forgot about the flowers and the sun and the beach, he wanted to be back home.  
"I have to... take care of her? I've never met her. How old is she?"  
"She's four. Listen, you _are_ allowed to refuse, though I wouldn't recommend it. The whole process doesn't usually take too long." Chase sighed, blinking rapidly, then returned to face the man.  
"Ok, what do I need to do?"

After numerous calls to Emma Decker, Claire's lawyer, (who was just her recently graduated university friend) and her landlords, Chase found himself in a nice little two story house not far away from the bustling of the city, and it had bougainvilleas over the front door too, they were bright pink and untrimmed, and the falling leaves caught in his hair when he came in. Emma was in the door, she was a short woman with black hair in a bob haircut, and she smiled when she saw him but he stepped hesitantly. Where was the girl? And if she didn't like him? If she was difficult, if she grew to hate him like Claire did? He wasn't right. There had to be someone better to take care of her, he didn't know her, and he lived halfway across the world. He wouldn't be good...

She came running through the door sneaking behind Emma. Ash... He smiled thinking it was so much like Claire to give her that name, as she had always hated hers. "It's just so...normal" she remembered her saying. She stared curiously at him, then ran back to a room inside and he followed. She sat quietly on a little bench near the centre of the room, concentration clear on her face as she shaded in a colouring book. When she looked up he stopped by the door frame. She was a tiny thing, yet the smile on her face was the same wicked grin he remembered from Claire. And it was the same coppery blonde hair, the same eyes, everything, it was Claire.

He opened his mouth to say something but he could think of no words, and when he wanted to get close he couldn't do it, he couldn't move and inch. He took a deep breath, and turned towards the living room he'd hovered by coming in, and sat in the first flat surface he found. He rubbed furiously at his cheeks, but though the tears were dried he still knew his face had gone red. What on earth...? _What on earth he was going to do now?_

"She looks just like her." He said when Emma sat beside him, but kept his gaze on the door.  
"I know" she answered. "So do you." She sighed, and spoke in a hush next. "I thought you wouldn't come."  
"Why?" He said. "Why would you think that?" He sounded rougher than he'd intended, and he lowered his eyes but didn't apologise. Emma peered into the room, and drummed her hands, she was a little jumpy.  
"You didn't speak. She hardly ever mentioned you, except to say you were a workaholic."  
"I just... God, I can't believe she didn't tell me about Ash. I would've... Been here, I would've helped... We fought, but it was a long time ago."  
"I don't think she wanted any help. I met her when she was pregnant, we were roommates in university, and she always seemed determined to show she could take care of herself. Prove that she could." Chase nodded, and wiped his cheeks again.  
"What about the Dad?" he asked.  
"She never told me who he was, only that he'd been a jerk from Australia. I still think he was one of the reasons she left."  
"And does Ash know, about her mum?" Emma sighed again. He thought maybe he wasn't making much of an impression, he knew next to nothing about Claire now, she was a stranger to him. He wasn't even sure if he grieved for her now or her as a girl.  
"Yes, but I don't think she understands it completely," said Emma. "I've told her she will have to change places and she just nods at me, I think it's going to take a while." Chase remained silent. He still felt lost, he wasn't sure if speaking was right or if it wasn't, and if it was what should he say? Was Emma just a friend, or a very close friend? Should he tell her he was sorry for her loss? She hadn't... He just turned to look at Ash in the end, and how she stuck out her tongue when she concentrated on her drawing. He could smile at that, yes. He'd done wrong with Claire. Maybe he could make it right again...

He was ready to stand up and meet her when she appeared at the room's entrance, immediately hesitating when she saw him sitting next to Emma.  
"Ash, come here, love, there's someone I'd like you to meet." Emma said. Ash just stared at him, and moved closer slowly, her brow furrowed.  
"You're Uncle Robbie" she stated.  
"Yes," said Chase, confused, and then turned to Emma. "Did you talk about me?"  
"I told her her uncle was coming, not your name," she said, and Chase grinned. Only Claire called him Robbie. Ash then walked full out of the room and quickly returned with a wooden silver frame in her hands, and handed it to Chase. In it was an old picture that showed a twenty year-old Chase clutching a surfboard, and right next to him a ten year old girl covered in sand, with a bucket and spade, both of them with a brilliant smile on their faces. It took him a while to figure out when that photo had been taken. He was in med school already so it must have been during one of his summer holidays, one day he took his sister from his Dads house and out to the beach. Maybe Ash had a better concept of him than Emma, at least she had pictures.  
"Yeah, I'm Uncle Robbie, that's me," he repeated, pointing at his smiling face under the glass, "and that is my sister, your mum"  
"My mum is in heaven," she said, her face serious. She talked with the same accent Emma did, not like him or Claire.  
"Yes, I know. But it's... going to be alright," he said, then said it again in his mind and bit his lips. God, there had to be more to say... How do you talk to a four year old about that? And worse, one he didn't even know. And he still had to tell her he was going to take her from her home and move to another continent. But he couldn't do that now. "Will you show me your drawing?" he said instead. Ash nodded and, taking him by the hand, pulled him to her room. It was really small, but all the walls had some sort of jungle theme decoration and it looked pretty cool.

"My name is Ash. But Ash like the tree, not the dust," she said, and he chuckled. It took a while for her to act confident around him, but after an hour she wouldn't let him out of her sight, and kept showing countless drawings and crayons and papers for him to draw as well. It was only when she went for a nap that he took a break.  
"You were great in there, you know?" Emma said as he got back to the living room. She looked sadder than when he had arrived and he thought then that she was probably missing her even more than he was.  
"Thanks," he said. He could feel an awkward silence coming and he took a breath to dare to speak. "So what now? There's the funeral, this place, Ash..."  
"Are you going to take her with you?"  
"She's my niece... Yes, I am. It's what Claire would've wanted... I hope. I mean, I don't know if I'm right, but I have to do it, I have to do it."  
"I think it's all right if you're scared, it's quite sudden. But she named you, she wanted you, she probably knew that beyond your issues, she could count on you..." He turned away, so she wouldn't see if his face turned red again, but she didn't stare. "It's alright..." she muttered. "Now, Claire's friends... And the guys from the school... They are doing a vigil on Barnett Street for Claire and the others. Two guys also died in the crash. They were university students, but I didn't know them"  
"That's terrible..." said Chase, still looking away.  
"Yeah... So you should call Abby, she'll tell you what to do to get Ash's legal custody, and probably a whole bunch of paperwork and stuff if you want to take her with you to the States. The fact that you are a foreigner won't help speed things up, but it'll be done... But don't worry about the funeral; I'll take care of it." She stood up and started picking up toys from the floor. "I live about ten blocks away, you can call me if you need anything, Ted Bale too, he's a good man. Mr. and Mrs. Ritter will get here in a couple of hours." She led him to the other room in the second floor. "I guess you can sleep here, or on the couch. Claire's lease is up in a couple of weeks, so it might be a good idea to start getting stuff in boxes."

She went out, and left him standing awkwardly in the doorway. "So... I'll better get going, Ash should wake up soon, there're some leftovers to warm up on the fridge and...That's it. I'll come by tomorrow morning; Claire's car keys are on the counter. Bye-Bye." He saw her walk down the stoop stairs, and he heard the low wall latch on close a few seconds later. Ash was still asleep in her room, but the rest of the house fell into an eerie silence, and for a moment he didn't even want to move for fear of making a sound.

He was alone there. The realisation hit him hard, and he almost wheeled around to call Emma back. So she was just leaving him with her? She didn't know him. He could be a complete mess, for God's sake, he _was_ a mess. He'd always thought he could handle kids well, he'd even once imagined himself being a father, but not like this. Not when they mattered so much, or when they had no one but him. They were still strangers.

Claire's room was just as tiny as Ash's, with a large bed nearly occupying the entire space. A cluttered desk stood just under the window, and her dresser doubled as a night stand. It looked like if somebody had attempted to tidy up but hadn't done such a great job. Sighing, he let himself fall into the bed, relieved at the cold of the sheets, and fell asleep almost immediately, not even aware of the time.

The heat woke him up, and he found the light different when he looked out, there was a glow that hadn't been there before. Had he slept so long? And Ash... He heard footsteps, and he jumped from the bed with a start.

"That is mummy's bed" Ash said, standing still from the door frame. Chase froze. Had she been there all along, or it was her footsteps he'd heard.  
"I...um... I was just... I...borrowed it, only for a little while," he mumbled. God, that was a stupid thing to say. Ash stared back at him, her eyes accusing.  
"Did she lend it to you?"  
"What? No... Ash..." Didn't Emma say she knew already? Hell, hell, hell..."Ash, you know, your mum, she's not... coming back," he said. It sounded bitter in his mouth, and he wished he hadn't ever said it, but he had to.  
"Why?" she asked, raising her tone. Her gaze was fixed in his, and he looked away, fiddling with the mattress.  
"Your Mum, she... was in an accident. And she got hurt so bad her body couldn't work anymore, and the doctors couldn't help her, so she died. Do you understand?" He said it as softly as he could, but couldn't tell from her face whether she really understood.  
"I broke my foot when I was smaller. Mum had to take me to the doctors."  
Chase sighed.  
"This is different. Your Mum won't get better."  
"Can't they put on a cast?" Chase was starting to sweat again, and he wished he could sink right into the bed. Ash looked close to tears, and he wasn't very far behind.  
"No, it won't help. Listen, Ash, your Mum loved you very, very much; but she is gone now. She is never coming back."  
"But we were going to... She said she'd take me... What about the park?" She said, between sobs now. Chase just wanted to hug her, she just looked so much like Claire, but that probably wouldn't have been a good idea. Then she just turned around, eyes drifting. "Where's Emma?"  
"She had to leave, she's coming back tomorrow."  
The sound of footsteps and the door closing were heard again, downstairs now.  
"That must be Mr. and Mrs. Ritter." He said, but neither of them moved. "Ash, what did your mum say... about me?" he asked. She hesitated, refusing to make eye contact.  
"She told me you took care of her when she was little like me. But now you live very far because you're a doctor." She started fiddling with the coloured pencils on the table. "She said you were her best friend."  
"She was my best friend, too... Ash, I want you to come live with me." He blurted out, and regretted it as soon as he said it. It was just way too early yet, she wasn't ready. He scanned her face, looking for a reaction, but found none. She just kept colouring in a storybook. "I'll be right back," he said, standing up. "Stay here."  
He walked downstairs to the kitchen, from there the sun shone bright orange against the wall, it was probably the only time of day in which you could see it through the window, and it was beautiful. He hadn't noticed before, but the house was in a steep incline, and most of the other houses on the road were visible from that window, and were similar, painted white or light blue with bright orange and pink flowers.  
"Hello, you must be Robert," Mr. Ritter, who looked to be about sixty years old, said while holding out his hand. Chase shook it and smiled.  
"Yes, that's me"

They talked for a bit and then Chase excused himself and went outside. It was still warm, but the fresh breeze of the early evening made it a comfortable temperature. He had still to process everything that was going on, and he'd only been there a day. He called the lawyer, and she just detailed a bunch of paperwork that had to be filled, as well as a court appointment for guardianship and a visa interview. When it was finally dark outside, he was exhausted, his hands shook a little and just the thought of the next few days filled him with dread. How was he taking care of a four year old girl? But ther was no one else, no father, no grandparents, no godparents even. And he couldn't leave her here, even if it was her home, he had to head back and she had to go with him, however hard that was.

He walked back inside and found Ash playing with some legos on the upstairs living room.  
"Come on, Ash, time to go to bed.  
"But I'm not sleepy yet" _But I am,_ he wanted to say.  
"But you will be sleepy tomorrow if you don't try to sleep now" he reasoned. She pouted but went to her bed. He was leaving the room when she spoke again."Do you think mum misses me?" Her voice was barely above a whisper.  
"I know she does. And it's okay for you to miss her too. I do" he answered, and left the room when he saw her close her eyes.


	3. Chapter 3

**Ash, Like The Tree**

**Author's note: Previous version had a bunch of typos, wrote it in the dark and really late, with a new keyboard, so not good. My apologies! Hope this one's better.**

** Sorry for the delay! It's almost done so it's just editing, bear with me please!**

**Just a word of warning, the research gone in this story is not big. There are probably mistakes in form, but I don't think they're much relevant to the story, they are details as in legal procedure and the like, and we've made up some of it. I haven't been to the places I describe so obviously it's never going to be completely accurate, but I try. Hope you like it, and leave reviews, thanks those who've put this in story alert or reviewed already! Comments are welcome!**

**Disclaimer: Don't own it.**

3.

Chase remembered Claire hadn´t been much older than Ash was now when his mother had died, and he tried to think of how he'd dealt with it then, but it was all very different. They still had their father, though times had been hard since quite a while before. And he was sure that unlike her, Claire had been a good mum. He wished Ash had been older, so she'd be able to tell him about her. It was horrible to think that now he would never know.

He stood from the couch he'd slept in as soon as he felt the light come in, a ray of orange breaking the dark in a much more sudden way than he was used to. He rubbed his neck, feeling sore, and he wandered around the house trying not to make much noise, as away from the windows it was still dark and Ash was still asleep. He stared at the framed pictures of the living room and tried to imagine them as films, he tried to hear her voice in his head like it had been on the phone. But the photos were still, they had no movement, and though they were filled with happy smiling faces they had no life to him.

Ash ignored him as he set up the table for breakfast, and all through the day when she joined him in endless queues and paperwork, she never once spoke directly at him, though she made high voices through her toys, which kept talking about someone named Bara. It pained Chase to see her jump up excitedly when Emma picked them up at the house, and he wondered if maybe she would've wanted to stay with her. But no, it was his responsibility now.

"Why are there so many people?" she asked, while Chase held her hand tightly in the crowd as they came closer to a long table, lit with candles. The floor was lined with flowers, reaching up to the table in which stood three picture frames. Emma took a deep breath, but still managed a smile when she looked down to her.  
"They are people who knew your mum, baby, and they are here to say goodbye," she said, kneeling down so that they were at eye-level.  
"Is my mum here?"  
"No... Ash, we talked about this." Emma sighed, and looked desperately at Chase, who got closer, running a hand through his hair.  
"If she's not here how can she hear if they say goodbye?"  
"Ash, you know how Emma said Mum is in Heaven?" Chase said, and she nodded. "Well I like to think that she can see us from up there, and she can hear us even though we can't see or hear her." Ash seemed to ponder this for a while, but then remained quiet. Chase held her hand all the way down the street, until they reached a small chapel. On the entrance a small banner had been placed, showing three pictures too, though smaller than those of the table.  
"Mummy!" Ash pointed towards the pictures.  
"Yeah, that's mummy's picture," said Chase. "Do you want to write something for her?"  
"I don't know how to write"  
"That's okay, I can write it for you"  
"Will she see it?"  
"Yes, I'm sure she will." They walked towards the banners and picked up a thick black marker. Chase kneeled so he could write on a free spot, and then turned to Ash. "What do you want to say?"  
"I love you Mummy and... I miss you" Chase wrote it, then handed her the marker.  
"Want to draw something?" She nodded, and with as much precision as a four year old could manage, she drew a heart and then carefully coloured it in, then made a sun and what looked to be a rainbow just beside it. "That's very nice. I think she'll like that." Ash beamed at him, and he smiled back. Emma then joined them, she was rubbing furiously at her eyes, and she just left a single flower and turned around.  
"Let's go back home," she said, and Ash switched hands to her. Chase remained by the chapel door.

"I will be right behind you," he said, and they turned and started walking away. He grabbed the marker for himself, and wrote in tiny hand below Ash's message. _I'm sorry_.

When he turned to leave, Emma and Ash were already out of sight, and he realised with dismay that he didn't know which way they had gone. He stood still for a moment, looked to either side, and then set out downwards. He walked in a daze, following the crowd, and after what seemed like almost an hour the group in front of him stopped. They were a bunch of students, and they held up beers in the name of one of the other crash victims. It seemed like they all knew each other, but when he joined them they took him for one of their own.

"Hey! You're Claire's brother?" A tall man asked him. He was surrounded by other young men with reddened eyes, but Chase found it hard to tell if it was from crying or from the alcohol. He guessed both.  
"Yeah. Robert," He said, shaking his hand. The man made a signal to the bartender of the little bar they stood in front of, and he pulled out glass bottles of cold beer.

"Aw man, I'm really sorry. I barely knew her but I was friends with Ernie. It's a shame what happened."

"Shame!" cried out another young man. Chase noticed he wobbled a little, even standing. "Bloody murder, is what it is! Bus's brakes failed! Shouldn't have passed the inspection, but ah, scaly driver pays up… And where is he now? Free!" he slammed his drink against the light post and the glass of the top flew at those around, making the group back up. The tall man put a hand on his shoulder.

"Calm down, man," he told him, and the man covered his face and leaned against the lamppost. Looking around Chase saw that there were more than a few mourners that had had more than enough to drink. He knew he should leave, Emma would wonder where he'd gone, but he had no idea how to head back, and at least here he didn't feel the terrible strain of the last few days, and he didn't feel judged.

He was offered a beer and he took it, he drank it down and felt he could maybe just forget everything, force it all to become a dream. But did he want Ash to be a dream too? That was one thing he wasn't sure of, but he thought, why, he might at least try.

"So where is this driver, then?" he found himself saying out loud. He was easily recognised as Claire's brother on account of his accent, and men crowded around him, repeating his questions loudly.

"Fled! Fled the scene, no one's seen him," said one.

"No one is looking for him?" People shook their heads, the country was big, police were overworked, there was no hope of ever finding the man. When they exhausted all the ideas they had of searching for him and chasing him and beat him to a pulp, they started to talk of their friends gone. Some got very emotional, others maintained the angry rough voice and cursed the driver, the bus company, the government, the road…

"God, I'll miss Ernie! He was one funny little man," said the tall guy. All agreed, and started telling stories. Chase hung close, hoping to hear some of Claire, but he soon found out most of these guys hadn't even known her.

"And this one's for Sam. God be with you!" said another. All drank and again the talk shifted to Sam, after which there was a long silence. Chase stepped forwards.

"God bless you, Claire," he said, and all nodded solemnly, but one man to Chase's left scoffed, and snorted loudly.

"She's in hell, cold b*tch…· he muttered, and was immediately shushed by the people next to him, who cried out for him to shut up and piss off. Chase turned, feeling he'd reached a breaking point he hadn't known he was so close to, and he pulled a fist back and punched the man in the face with all his strength, throwing him down on the sidewalk. His fist twisted and burned and he wanted to shout as pain shot up his arm, but he managed to keep it together and stood tall. The man rose again, his face bright red. He would've probably apologised and walked off, as many of his friends tried to force him to do, but he was very drunk, and Chase was past the point where he thought before acting.

The man shoved him against the bar's wall, some people stepped in to pull him back, calling him to stop, but he swung around in rage and no one came near. Chase returned the shove, but the man already had a blow coming his way, and when he saw the fist, he only just managed to duck in time, leaning back, but he lost balance for an instant and a second blow caught him in the side of his face, pushed him hard against the wall, and he crumbled to ground. The man closed in on him as if to strike again, but now more people came forwards, and he was ushered away.

"Hey, you're all right?" someone asked him, stretching a hand down. Chase looked up, but he didn't take it. Now the young men and the rest of the students had dispersed. "So sorry for him, but he's very upset…" He offered a hand again. Chase recognised him as the tall guy, Ernie's friend, and he was surrounded by a couple other Ernie's friends. The bar shut out its door, seeing people start to lose control, and soon the street was quiet and empty. Only Ernie's people remained.

"I don't even know her, and she was my sister," Chase muttered, and his eyes trailed back down to the tips of his shoes. He shivered. He only wore a shirt, and it was starting get very cold, there was a strong wind blowing down that street.

"Ah, it's tough, man, I know… Sure you're all right?"

"I'm fine," he said, and turned away, but it seemed those people would not be contented until he took the man's hand and stood up, so reluctantly he did. He felt his head drumming, and he saw black for a moment but once he was up he could keep his balance. "I'm just fine."

"Do you need a lift?"

"I don't know why I hit… that man. I don't even know him," he said, and searched again for the tip of his shoes, for something to stare out. The man smiled softly.

"He was rude, he shouldn't have said that. I think he dated Claire once, she blew him off, so… Man, where are you staying? We'll take you."

"I… I don't remember…" Chase lifted his face. He took a step towards the tall guy, and staggered and would've fallen if he had not held his arm for balance.

"No idea?"

"It was… Well, it was Claire's bed. So… Claire's house?" he said. The man nodded, and gently pushed him by the shoulder as they turned towards the waiting friends, two more guys and a girl.

"I'm Tom. Come with us."

They dropped him at the door to Claire's house, but it was dark, and he could not find the bell. He didn't want to wake the landlords, so he sat down on the stoop, leaning against the gate. Again, he felt like he'd only blinked and there was the light in his face, but it took him a moment to recall the previous night, of which he was immediately reminded of once he did.

"Where ON EARTH were you?" Emma shook him violently, and he shot upright and wobbled on his legs before her. She pushed him towards the stoop and almost made him fall.  
"I'm sorry, I..."  
"I went back to look for you, you know? Even Ash was worried, you said… I called the police, I thought you'd been robbed or killed…!" She stepped closer to him. He would've laugh at her concerns, except the way she looked at him made him realise she'd meant it. "Have you been drinking? What happened to your face?"  
"I… God, I'm sorry, I didn't think it'd be… such a big deal… I was… upset, I think you can understand that."

"No, I can't. Not if you have a four year old, who just lost _her mother_, that depends on _you_!" Her voice was rising more now, and he realised she was angry over something else. She pushed her hair back, waved her hands wildly at him. "You don't have the right to just disappear!"

"I'm sorry, I didn't know the way, and…"

"You knew where Claire was all these years, and you never showed up."

"What?" He shook his head, his eyes opened wide.

"You want to act all noble now? The loving and grieving big brother… You never cared, why start now?"  
"I—You know nothing about us, for God's sake!" He shouted, probably louder than he meant. "I loved her, I cared for her, and it was her who pushed me away! And she never told me about Ash."  
"You never even asked! She thought you didn't care, she always said it, that she was a failure to you, her oh, so, successful brother… Even before she died, she wanted to talk again but you never called back, and when she ringed you, you didn't pick up. She died thinking you didn't care, so it's too late now!"

Chase took a gasping breath, and kicked at the ground.

"Don't you think I know that?" he yelled, and he didn't care if his voice cracked. "Don't you think I feel so guilty I can't stand it, it kills me to know that, it kills me! There is nothing I can do to make it better and I'll have to live with it, for the rest of my life. But I promise you, I can make right with Ash. I want to, I have to…"

"Out of guilt?"

"No. But for her."

Emma opened her mouth, ready for a reply, but she was silent, and she took as step back and trembled slightly, then she wheeled around and walked back to the entrance

"Where are you going?" said Chase, and didn't bother wiping his cheeks, thought he knew Emma was holding back her own tears, and he admired her for it. He felt embarrassed now, shame taking over anger.  
"Home. Now go inside and act responsible," she said. He watched her leave quickly down the street, saw very clearly when her step broke and she started shaking with sobs. He wanted to follow her, tell her he was sorry, he hadn't even bothered with condolences, he never thought she would need them, or that Claire had meant so much. He felt like a coward.

The house was dead silent when he walked back in, and climbed the stairs to Claire's floor. Ash's door was opened just an inch, and Chase peered through to make sure she was still asleep before he made his way to the living room. Though it was full day, it was still early enough to sleep, and this time he took the sofa's cushions and laid them on the floor, making a makeshift bed along with Claire's pillows.

It couldn't have been more than a few minutes when he shook with a shrill ringing. It took him a moment to realize it wasn't an alarm but the house phone. He quickly stumbled to reach it, crawling over the cushion-less sofa. "Hello?" His voice sounded groggy and his throat felt sore, he hoped he would not sound hung-over.  
"Oh, hi!" The voice said, in a fake cheerfulness Chase recognized immediately.  
"House? How did you get this number?"  
"You are on speaker. Now, what causes fluid in the lungs, a petechial rash and..." He expected him to help with the diagnosis?  
"Seriously, House? I've got a funeral today. You've got three doctors in your team already, use _them."_ He tried to keep his voice down, so it came out like an angry hush.  
"Why are you whispering? Is there someone else there?"  
"Claire's landlords live downstairs, so yeah, I don't want to wake them."  
"Aw, how considerate. Now, as I was saying, patient presents with..."  
"House, come on, leave him alone." A voice, probably Foreman's, was heard on the other side.  
"When are you coming back?" Chase could tell he was no longer on speakers.  
"Not for a couple more weeks."  
"Why? You say the funeral's today, what's the hold-up?"

"It's none of your business, there's just stuff I've got to take care of." Of course, he didn't mention that _stuff_ included a living, breathing, four year old girl. He would have time later to tell him.  
"Oh, look who's cranky."  
"Maybe if you'd call me at a decent time."  
"Now, who's a late sleeper? Your time's decent, it's ours that isn't."

"If you have nothing else to add..."  
"Oh yeah, completely forgot. Word's you've inherited a live one. You're bringing it with you or not?" He said, with certain smugness to his voice.  
"_What_? How could you possibly know about her?"  
"Ah, so it's a she… Come on, I just did a couple searches. Give me more credit."  
"House, you have no business looking her up." He was getting agitated, his head pounded, and he no longer whispered. How the hell had he found out? It's not like it was in the news… But then again, House could be very resourceful when he wanted.  
"Okay, no need to get aggressive. I think a have a right to know how things are going to work out when you come back. I _am_ your boss, you know."  
"House, I don't know anything yet, alright? I'll tell you when I do, just...don't call again." Somehow he didn't believe that would be enough to convince him.  
"Fine. Just make sure you are here by the sixteenth, there's that diagnostics seminary we have to attend."  
"That's in less than two weeks, House, I don't know if..."  
"Be here by that time, or I'll have someone else doing your job by the time you get back. You know I'll do it." He interrupted, with some finality to his voice tone, and yes, Chase knew. It made him even angrier. How dare he threaten his job _now?_  
"Go to hell, House," he said, and slammed down the phone. He thought of disconnecting it for good measure, but then he just put the volume down to the minimum, and thought the situation could not possibly be worse. He needed that job, but now, thinking about it for a moment, he wondered if he could even keep it, now that he had Ash.

He sighed, and figured he would probably not get much sleep now, so he returned the cushions to the sofa and headed to the bathroom. He was just taking off his shirt when he noticed an animal that looked like a small cat, only with the long face of a ferret and a large furry tail, resting peacefully inside the bathtub. It had leopard-like spots all over its coat.  
He shouted and jumped back, banging his head with the door as he quickly exited, shirtless, towards the hallway. He opened Ash's door and gently shook her, hoping she wouldn't mind being waked this early.  
"Ash? Ash, wake up!" She started rubbing her eyes and mumbling words Chase didn't understand. He briefly considered waking the Ritters, but then decided against it "Ash? Ash, come on, there's an animal in the bathroom." She seemed to hear him now, and, sensing the urgency in his voice, sat up in her bed.  
"An animal?" she said, her words still slurring.  
"Yes! Come on!" Chase helped her up and took her hand as he led her to the bathroom. He wasn't sure how waking Ash up would help him at all should the ferret/cat thing be dangerous, but he wasn't thinking of that at the moment.  
But before he could stop her, Ash ran to the bathtub, almost throwing himself over the animal.  
"Bara!" She said in a high-pitch shout. "_There you are_!" Chase just stared at her, wide-eyed.  
"It's _yours_? What is it?" Ash just picked it up, and it quickly perched on her shoulder.  
"It's mine. Her name is Bara, she's tame. Mum got it from her school, because they had had little babies. She has a permit and everything." Well _that's_ good to know, he thought. Why hadn't Emma mentioned this before? Ah, but it's not like she was responsible for all in Claire's life… It still made him uneasy to see it so close to Ash. It looked like a weird leopard ferret. "She's a genet," Ash continued. "Wanna pet her?" She brought Bara closer, and he immediately backed up, almost crashing with the hallway's picture frames. Ash laughed, and he felt foolish. _Oh come on, she's obviously not scared of it, why should I?_ He stretched out his hand, and touched the genet's fur. It was surprisingly soft, but the animal didn't welcome the touch and moved to Ash's left shoulder, then slid down to her arms.  
"How long have you had it?" he asked. She looked up to him, looking decidedly cute in her pyjamas, her hair shining red in the early sunlight.  
"Less than a year."  
"It doesn't...bite, or anything?  
"No, she's a good girl." Seeing her interact with Bara, looking so happy as she ran her hands through her fur, he found himself smiling. It didn't last very long though, as Ash looked back at him, this time her face serious and her head tilted to the side.  
"Your cheek is purple. Where were you before?" She asked. He had completely forgotten about it, how Emma had said they were both worried. A part of him hoped she had just erased it, it would be one less thing to deal with.  
"I... uh... I was just..."  
"And why don't you have a shirt?" Her face was curious now, like she was just noticing him now.  
"I was just going to have a shower, when I found Bara. Ash, I'm sorry I took so long last night, I was trying to... I got lost...Anyway, I promise it won't happen again." He kneeled in front of her, trying to guess what she was thinking. She seemed so small now, her hazel eyes so much like her mother's, measuring him, like he was transparent.

"You won't leave? Ever?" Ash let Bara jump to the floor and it quickly disappeared behind the door, but she kept her gaze on him.  
"I promise," he said, and meant it. Without warning, Ash threw herself over him, covering his neck in a hug. It took him by surprise, but he recovered quickly and returned the hug, feeling her small body and her wild hair, and smiled."Come on" he said, picking her up from the ground. "You've got to get ready and I need to shower" He placed her beside her bed. "Do you know about today?" She nodded.  
"We are going to the funeral" She said the words as if they were foreign.  
"And you know what that is?" Another nod  
"It's when you die and they put your body in the ground and your soul goes to heaven, and that's where Mummy is, so now they are going to bury her." Chase was impressed, and he nodded, but he also knew she would probably forget, and might be asking for her mum tomorrow.  
"Yes. But you don't have to go if you don't want to." She just stared at him  
"Will you go?"  
"Yes"  
"Then I want to go too."


	4. Chapter 4

**Ash, Like The Tree**

**Author's note: Here's another chapter for you readers! I will try to update quicker now, and I'll be trying for some action soon back in Princeton. Let me know if you like it please, and any suggestions or comments or reviews are very welcome! **

**Disclaimer: Don't own it.**

4.

Chase stopped before the doors of the terminal, where security guards asked people for their passports, and he turned towards Emma. She leaned down, and hugged Ash goodbye, she was red faced but not crying, and when she straightened again she looked as calm as usual. Ash burst into tears again, she had wailed all the way to the airport, but now it wasn't as loud, just a constant whimper. Chase took her hand, and stretched the other towards Emma. She stared at him for a moment, then jerked forwards and placed her arms around him, holding tight. Chase was startled for a moment, they had hardly talked since the morning after the memorial, but then he hugged her back, pulling Ash closer as well.

"Take good care of her," she told him, her voice shaking. "And of yourself, take care…"

"I will," he said, and they parted. He walked back a few feet, swinging his bag.

"Come back some day," said Emma, and waved. He nodded, smiled, and turned away.

He could not believe he was already leaving, already so soon to be back to the home he hadn't really missed. Two weeks had flown. He remembered the funeral, and smiled, seeing Ash again in her grey shorts, because she had refused to wear what Emma had chosen for her. He had been baking in his suit and had envied her. He had cried when she stood in front of an electric piano set up in the grass and played Auld Lang Syne. He hadn't even known she played.

Afterwards it had been a little bit crazy, just running around trying to get everything done. He even had Bara with him now, as Ash had had a total breakdown when he mentioned leaving her, so they had to get her a special permit and an inspection. There was barely enough time for the guardianship arrangements, but they had agreed to send the last papers to Princeton and then it would be done. He had not received another call from House, and he hoped he could stay some time at home before going back to work.

"You think you can carry it all by yourself?" He asked Ash, who was walking beside him, dragging a small carry-on bag.

"Yeeesss" She said in singsong. She wasn't thrilled with the idea of leaving, he could still feel it was going to take a while for her to get used to it. "I've never been on a plane before" she said as she stroked Bara's nose over the bars of her travel case. "Neither has Bara" She seemed cheerful now, though, excited with the idea of traveling, and Chase was thankful for that. The last few days had been spent packing up the house, and most of the stuff they would keep was already being shipped to his apartment. He knew it would be a couple rough days when they arrived as well. He would have to clear the second room, and get everything settled for Ash to live with him, not to mention finding a school and a day-care. Thankfully, he had already some practice in living with her the past two weeks, difficult times and all.

"Did you choose Bara's name?" he asked when they started the queue to the counter.

"No, Mummy did. It means sunrise, "she replied. "She said it was an Aus-tra-lian name" She pronounced the words carefully, pausing at each syllable. "Because that's where Mum's from"

"That's right. That's where I'm from, too." They dragged their suitcases a bit more as the line in front of them advanced. They said goodbye to Bara, and their other bag on the luggage check in and then continued on. It was very crowded all around the airport, and having an animal with them made the security check even more bothersome. It took them almost an hour to get to their flight's gate.

"Did you like it there, in Australia?" she asked, curious, as they set their carry-ons on the floor next to their seats on the gate. They still had half an hour left until their flight left.

"Yes, it's very nice. It's like here, only it's hot all year round, and we have a big desert"

"Mum showed me pictures" She replied, then grew quiet and looked to the floor. "Do you think she will still see us, where we are going?" she asked. "What if she can't find us?" Her face was now filled with anguish, and she looked about to cry.

"Hey" Chase said, his voice soothing. "It's going to be alright. She will always know where we are." Ash just nodded, and buried her face against him. "You know, when your Mum was little, she used to paint my face with markers when I was asleep" He told her, remembering how it had been, before things got complicated. "One time I didn't notice and went to school like that" Ash looked up to him, smiling now.

"Were you angry?"

"I was, at first, but then we just laughed about it."

"Why didn't you come to visit before?" she asked, a question Chase had been dreading to answer, because he wasn't sure of the answer himself. It just helped to bring out the guilt.

"I don't know" He said, after a pause. "Your Mum and I, we had a fight. It was really stupid, but I was angry with her, and she was with me. She never told me about you, otherwise I would have come sooner. I wish I had, so I could have met you earlier, when your Mum was still here."

"But you are not angry anymore" It wasn't a question, more of a statement.

"No, I realize how silly it had been, and I called your house. I told your Mum I was sorry, and she apologized too. I guess she wanted to tell me about you but I didn't call again, because I was busy working. I'm sorry about that." She seem to ponder for a moment, then changed topic.

"You talk like her," she said, swinging her legs on the seat, as they didn't reach the floor. "And you look like her" Chase smiled, happy that she would find some of Claire in him.

"Your Mum and I talked the same because we are from the same place, and we look similar because she was my sister," he said, though she already knew that, for some reason it felt better to say it. She just nodded, and started to close her eyes, leaning against him.

Their flight left at eleven in the night, way past her bedtime, so he was surprised she lasted so long. He carried her in his arms when the plane started to board, still finding it hard to believe that someone this small was now his sole responsibility. That she was his now. He held her tight as he handed their boarding passes, and continued on to the plane. He had been lucky enough to convince the attendant at the airline counter to get the front seats in the economy class, because there was no way he could afford flying business. He settled Ash on the seat by the window right next to him, and covered her with the blanket.

"She's so cute" A woman in the next aisle told him quietly. "And she looks like you." Chase thanked her with a smile, and turned to look at Ash. She had curled up in a ball, clenching the ends of the blanket. She did look a bit like him, maybe. She woke up with the roar of the engine as the plane got ready for take-off, and remained glued to the window until the clouds covered the blinking lights of the city.

"Say goodbye to Cape Town" Chase told her, and she whispered goodbye through the window, then turned to him.

"Are we coming back?" she asked, her eyes sleepy.

"Yes, someday," he answered. "We still have to go to see the elephants, right?" Nodding with a smile, she fell back into her seat, closing her eyes. It was going to be a long flight, Chase thought as he opened the bag of his own blanket. They would both need the rest.

-i-i-i-i-

"What do you mean you need to see a parental consent form? She's my niece! I'm her legal guardian, my sister is dead, how could I possibly get a parental consent form?" Chase slammed his paper file against the counter, sending receipts flying, but his hands were shaking with rage and he could not pick them back up. The arrival in customs at the Newark airport had been nothing like the first time he'd gotten to the US. Security had tripled and now he was being questioned for what seemed the fifth time, it had already been almost twenty minutes at a checkpoint that for most people took less than one. He breathed in, but he wasn't in control anymore, and everywhere he turned he found people staring his way. He wanted to scream.

"Sir, I'm sorry, but it's regulation, we need a death certificate to corroborate what you are saying." The man's expression remained blank, and Chase felt like punching him. On the floor and leaning against the stand, Ash was sitting down, covering her ears.

"I have all the papers. Here." He pushed the file towards him. "Look at them! They clearly state I'm her legal guardian after my sister's passing. Please…" he stopped, drew a long breath, "don't make it harder than it already is." The man flipped through the papers, but it seemed to Chase he wasn't even reading them.

"Sir, this doesn't match with the information we've got in our system." The man started pressing more buttons in the small computer. On the floor, Ash started to hum loudly.

"That doesn't make any sense. I've got all the paperwork, I don't see what the problem is," he said, then he frantically began searching his cell-phone for Claire's lawyer's number, dropping his remaining wad of papers to the floor in the process.

"Mr. Chase, you can't use your cell-phone here," said the man. Chase just glared at him

"It's Doctor Chase, not that you would know," he snapped. It was four in the morning, almost two days had passed since they had left South Africa and all he wanted was to get home to a shower and his bed, he honestly didn't care about being nice. The dry air, to which he had gotten used to when he first moved to Princeton, now felt like sandpaper on his throat with every breath. He wanted his bed _so bad._

"Our records show that the legal guardianship for Ash Chase has not been finalised."

"What? They told me it was fine, there's just some bureaucracy left to handle, our lawyer said it was fine to travel with this!" His voice was rising now, as he pointed towards the papers in front of him. "There was no problem in Heathrow, why should there be a problem here?"

"We don't deal with the immigration policies of other countries, sir. Have you legally adopted Ash?"

"No, but I'm her legal guardian. I'm the one who grants permission should she enter another country, not anybody else." The man just kept clicking away at his monitor, and looking over and over at his passport. Chase considered snatching it back, he was already all out of patience. "What, do you think I've kidnapped her or what? That paper says a judge has seen me fit to be her parent. What else do you need?"

"Sir, I'm going to need you to calm down. We'll solve this situation, but you need to wait for a moment," he said, and stood up from his booth.

"Can't you just do your damn job? Just check again!" he yelled. The large room was suddenly very quiet, and a different man appeared at his side, wearing another uniform.

"Dr. Chase, I'm going to have to ask you to come with me," he said. Chase took a step back and grabbed Ash's hand.

"What? Where? Ash, come on baby." He called for her to stand, but another woman, wearing a suit and a tight bun, was already by her other side.

"She'll take care of her while we talk," the strange man said. "Don't worry, sir, she'll be fine" The woman carried Ash away, and Chase lurched towards her, sweating with anguish, but he was stopped before he could reach. He regretted it a second later, but they were already starting to drag him away. For God's sake, he thought, what was wrong with him? He knew better not to make a scene at an airport… But now he felt different. Seeing Ash being taken away made him want to ram his way towards her, he felt she would only be alright if she was always within his sight. Or was it just him, that would be alright? He could no longer tell.

"No, just wait. Wait! I'm calm, I'm calm, just bring her back. Please!" He shouted, turning towards the man only to find two more men in police uniforms had materialised behind him. He pleaded, then cursed, as he was quietly pushed towards a door to the left.

"It will only be for a while, sir. It will be easier if you cooperate," the man said, introducing himself as Officer Allen, and sat him down in front of a plain table. Chase sighed, knowing it was true, but a part of him was still telling him to make a run for it. Where was Ash? And what was she thinking? He'd promise not to leave, maybe she'd think this was it, she was just a little girl, maybe she had never been alone before… She had resisted walking with the woman, he'd seen that, and she was also tired and hungry, she was bound to be moody.

Sweat was pouring out of him, even though it wasn't warm at all, and he wondered if that made him look suspicious of something, or if it was normal for someone being shoved into that shameful airport room. He felt like he was being arrested, and he wondered for a moment if some right of his was not being violated. But he guessed that bringing that up would not get him home any sooner.

It felt like an eternity before someone came through the door. Chase had paced the room several times and now just sat on the chair again, tapping his fingers against the desk. As soon as he saw Allen come in, he felt like punching him, but that would not have been very smart.

"Will you tell me why I'm being held here like a criminal?" he asked, trying to keep his voice level, but still it shook with rage. "My niece just went through her mother's death, I'm her only relative, can't you please—"

"Dr. Chase, I'm really sorry about all this, but please bear with us and you'll be home soon. I just need to ask you a few questions." Chase thought his voice rang with false sympathy, but he nodded anyway. It turned out 'a few questions' was quite the understatement, as he sat there for over an hour being drilled from everything from his relationship with his sister to his work permit, to his apartment in Princeton. When he was finally done, Allen stood up and headed for the door.

"Hey! Can't I go now?"

The door just closed with a loud noise, leaving silence behind as an echo. He remained alone in the room for what it seemed like another hour before Allen returned once more.

"Dr. Chase, I'm sorry about all this trouble, but we have to verify the information you've told us and so far we have not been able to communicate with either your lawyer or the officer you referred us to, and we can't let you go until that is verified."

"It's past midnight in South Africa," he exclaimed, feeling desperate. "Of course you're not going to get in touch with them now."

"Sir, please remain calm. We will try again in a while. As soon as that is confirmed you'll be free to go."

"If they didn't pick up now, what makes you think they'll pick up later when it's 2am? Are you going to keep me here all day? What about Ash, where is she?"

"She's fine. It will just be a while longer. You have to understand, bringing a minor without the appropriate paperwork, as well as that animal you're carrying, makes you a high-risk traveller. We must be thorough."

"That doesn't make any sense. I have all the necessary paperwork according to the law, for Ash and the animal. Just because it's not yet in your system it doesn't mean it's not true." His voice now turned to pleading. "I'll wait for as long as you need me to, just bring her here with me, she didn't do anything wrong." Allen just sighed.

"I'm afraid I can't do that, sir, not until we sort this out. But I assure you she's not alone. Now, please follow me," he said as he stood up and headed for the door once more. Chase followed him into an open area, where two airport officials stood with their checked luggage, searching it methodically. Bara's travel cage was nowhere to be seen.

"Hey!" he said, approaching them, but was stopped before he could get close.

"It's part of the protocol, nothing will be disturbed" Allen said, voice calm and steady.

"Well it looks pretty disturbed to me."

"Just stay here, we'll let you know as soon as we get in touch," the man turned, but Chase wasn't ready to sit down and just wait again, not when Ash was nowhere to be seen.

"Wait! Just...call... call Emma. She was Claire's friend, she can tell you..." Allen looked at him briefly before turning his back again. "Call my boss! He works in Princeton! He'll tell you about me and Ash. Don't leave, come on!" He really wasn't sure how House would be able to help him, but if he still wanted him back to work on the sixteenth, he was sure he could make an effort. Allen turned around slowly, and handed him a piece of paper and a pen he took from a nearby desk, as if resigned to listen to him. Chase quickly scribbled House's name and number on the paper and passed it back to him. He took it silently, then left him sitting on a chair. What a bunch of useless idiots! He felt like just curling up in the chair right then, but he just looked down, holding his head with his hands, his left leg trembling up and down, his body now cold as the sweat dried. He kept telling himself he'd be home soon, but time trickled by so slowly and he just wanted Ash back. What was this for a first impression of her new home? She was going to hate it. But it wasn't his fault, what could he do? He shouldn't have rushed.

It was already broad daylight when he saw the officer approaching him again, and when he reached his side he sighed, looking tired.

"I'm very sorry about this, sir; you are free to go now." He sounded almost defeated.

"Thank God," Chase sighed, and he took his suitcases from the men behind a counter.

"Your boss is quite an interesting character," Allen said, but Chase paid no attention to him

"Where's Ash?" he asked. He suddenly looked uncomfortable.

"Well, because of the situation, we were advised to hand her to social services, and she had to be taken to the office in Trenton; you can pick her up there." Chase felt his blood rise to his face, boiling hot, and he had to hold his breath to keep from throwing himself at the officer and knock him to the ground. He was tired and hungry and sleep-deprived, and he'd been held there for over five hours, but now Ash wasn't there anymore. He could've screamed.

"Why… wasn't I… notified?" he asked, slowly, to keep it under control. Allen just shrugged.

"It's..."

"Protocol. Policy. Right. You know what, you can all go to hell, I'm leaving. Where's the ferret?"

"The what?"

"The genet, the animal for god's sake, don't tell me you've lost it!" Only then did Allen seem to react.

"Oh, its being held by the corresponding agency, just making sure it's safe and legal, quarantine is regulation…"

"Regulation! God, you love those words, don't you?"

"You'll get it back, they just want to check on a few things."

"When will I get it back?"

"It usually takes about a week for cases like this"

"Great, just great!" he yelled, then rolled all the bags and slammed the cart against the glass door to force it to open; he raced to the main entrance and burst out into the snow. When a bag fell from the heap, he leaned down and dropped the documents and carry-on he'd been holding, and he kicked them all furiously to slush, jumping in the sidewalk until he started wheezing from the cold. He thought of Emma then, and felt silly and ashamed. He picked everything back up, breathed in deeply, and got on a cab to Trenton.


	5. Chapter 5

**Ash, Like The Tree**

**Author's note: I apologise to all of you following this story for the delay! I've been in finals and in a terrible mood and banging my head against the wall for two weeks but thank god it's finally over. I apologise also this chapter doesn't get much going, I promise next will be better, but as it seems, this is the last one of our little collaboration, my sister has abandoned this story so I'm taking over completely from now on. This chapter has only one section of my writing in it (can you guess?), the ones following will have more so I'm sorry if you notice a change or something like that. If you like it or have any comments or suggestions, please let me know! I have a month of holidays so I'll probably be updating more often now. **

**Disclaimer: Don't own it.**

5.

She didn't see Chase at first, her big eyes searching across the room filled with strangers, who all spoke too quick for her to understand.

"Ash!" he called, and only then her eyes were on him. She didn't say anything. There was no shout of joy, no running into each other's arms, just a glare of recognition in her eyes as he stood up and walked towards her. She didn't move when he kneeled in front of her and held her arms softly.

"I'm here, it's okay" he said, because he could think of nothing else, and when he picked her up in his arms she offered no resistance. It was only when he walked out, carrying her, that he felt his neck damp, and heard her quiet sobs.

"Hey, don't cry" He said as he lowered her down to get into the taxi. "Everything's fine. We're almost home now."

"I want my Mummy" she said between sniffs. To Chase they felt like a blow, he knew there was no way he could give her what she wanted, and he just held her tight against his chest, feeling her ragged breath as she wept. The cab took off, squirming its way out of the traffic of the city, and on to Princeton.

"I know" he whispered, running his hand through her hair. "I want her too."

i-i-i-i-i

When they got to Chase's building a while later, Ash was fast asleep, and so the driver helped him get all the bags out. He felt strange, walking back into the apartment; it didn't feel like the home it had been before he left. The bed he had ordered from Cape Town stood unassembled on the living room, but the rest remained the same, all of Ash's stuff had still not arrived. He carried Ash into his own bedroom once he got everything inside, and laid her on his bed. Her face was still blotched red from all the crying, but her breathing was slow and even.

He walked out and into the room where he had his desk. He dragged it out, toppling most of what was in it as he did so, and he meant to start fixing up the bed, but when he got to the couch he sat down, telling himself it was just a second. He closed his eyes, feeling completely drained, and instantly fell asleep.

i-i-i-i-i

"You like this little life I had... don't you?" She walked in front of him, under a blazing sun, and he was sitting in the grass but he felt no heat. The sky was bluer that he'd ever seen it, and behind her stood a tree thicker than a house, that cast a shadow over him, but not over her.

"Claire?" he said. The light was behind her and he could not quite see her face, but it had been her voice. She took another step and now she smiled. Her copper-blond hair was short and messy, and she wore a thin white shirt, rolled up at the sleeves, and with loose buttons at its long end, over dark brown shorts. The grass was tall and he couldn't see her feet. She was tall, taller than he remembered. This was her now, not the Claire he'd known.

"I am sorry you never got to be a part of it with me," she said.

"I wish I'd called sooner."

"I wish you'd had the guts." Chase stood, and took a step towards her, feeling a strangling pressure in his throat. She seemed to back up a little, though he hadn't seen her move. He wanted to tell her he was sorry, but somehow he knew it would be of no use.

"You were happy here."

"Yes. I was. Ash was the best thing that ever happened to me, she brought me to a place I could call home. I was lucky."

"Luck hasn't been around much for me..."

"Yes, it has. Luck's is always there. It wasn't luck that made you miserable."

"I did then? Can't you take a little blame? You ran off, you never told me where you were..."

"You never looked for me either."

"I did! When I finally learned you were in Cape Town you made it pretty clear you didn't want me in your life."

"You should've tried harder."

"I did, goddamn it! I sent you hundreds of letters, you never wrote back! I invited you to my wedding, I told you of my divorce... and nothing! All I wanted was a little help. Just one line acknowledging I still existed for you, that you still cared for me. If it had been me who died, would you have come to Princeton? What would you have felt then, seeing my mess of a life? Wouldn't you feel guilty?"

"Guilty, yes. I know I did wrong and can never make it right now, just like you, trust me, I know. But I am giving you something now, I can still turn your luck around."

"And what is that?" he asked, bitterly. She smiled.

"You like this little life I had... don't you?"

"Claire..." He took another step towards her, but she was gone, she disappeared into the tree, and the sun pierced right through his eyes in unbearable heat and light, the grass waved around him, and the tree shrank and shrank, until it was but a thin sprout in the red earth.

i-i-i-i-i

He woke up with a start, and for a moment he was surprised to find himself in the apartment. His fingers were blue from the cold, and he realized he'd forgotten to turn on the heating when he arrived. He jumped up, turned up the thermostat, and ran to his room. It was dark, and Ash was not in the bed anymore. He called her name, but just as he was starting to panic he turned and saw her under the doorframe of the little kitchen, wearing all the covers and blankets from his bed around her, like a tent, and as she walked she dragged the rest behind her.

"It's cold," she said. Chase chuckled.

"You look like… a _giant snail_," he said. She laughed. He picked her up, and placed her over the heating vent behind the bed. She stared at it in wonder.

"It's hot now!"

"Yes. In a little while you won't feel cold at all." He looked at his watch, it was almost six pm. His stomach grumbled. "Do you like pizza?" he asked. He wasn't in the mood to cook, and he figured that probably everything on his fridge had already gone bad. Ash nodded happily, and followed him to the living room where their unopened bags and coats were sprawled on the floor. He picked up Ash's, and carried it to her room where the papers from his desk remained. "This is your room now," he told her.

"It's messy," she said, but she carried on inside and stood on the tips of her toes to take a look at the street below. It was a heavy snow day and she could see it piling on the window ledge and blurring the light on the lamp far below. The roofs of the parked cars were frozen solid. "It looks like icing sugar," she said.

"It does, doesn't it?" Chase smiled. He remembered his first winter in the US, how he felt like a silly kid every time it snowed, while everybody else groaned and complained of the weather. It didn't take long for him to join them, but despite how much he hated the cold, and the dry stinging feeling in his lips and throat when he breathed in, he still thought there was something magical about snow. "Want to go down and touch it?" Ash looked at him, biting down her lip.

"Won't it be very very cold?"

"Yes... but that's why you have your new winter clothes." They had gone shopping before they left South Africa, to make sure she had at least the basic cold winter gear, though they still planned to get some more things when they arrived. But that could wait. Ash got up smiling, and Chase was relieved she had apparently forgotten about their airport nightmare. She headed towards the unopened bags on the hallway, throwing stuff out as she searched for her jacket and gloves. She put them on and then called out to him.

"Uncle Robbie! I'm ready!" Chase took his own jacket and started following her out the door. It had snowed recently, so the ground still felt like soft powder in the park across the street. Chase watched as Ash kicked the snow around with her boots, and then let herself fall into the ground, burying her feet. He regretted not bringing down his camera, and instead snapped pictures with his phone. I should send those to Emma later, he thought. _Emma_. He hardly knew her, but he found himself wishing she had come with him, that he had someone who understood, someone who could help. But with her, and with the memory of Claire, came the guilt.

"It's just like… It's just like fridge shaving!" Ash shouted, and she had a huge grin as she pressed a snowball into her hands. "And there are snowflakes! Like the ones I cut from paper in Christmas. But they melt when I touch them…" She pointed out the little crystals on the powder. She shivered, as a cold wind started blowing the snow into their eyes. "We're going to have to get a coat for Bara too… Where's Bara?" She raised her head and Chase stopped with a snowball lifted over his shoulder, he smiled nervously, and dropped it at his feet.

"Your shoes are getting wet, we should go back inside," he muttered, and grabbed Ash's gloved hand and turned before she had a chance to protest. She followed without a word, but she did not forget her question, and asked again when they reached the elevator. Chase looked at their endless mirrored image, and shook the snow off his hair, then rubbed his hands together.

"Ehm... You know how those people at the airport took us away?" he said, starting to shiver. He didn't know why he was so nervous. Was she going to burst out crying? What would he do then? "Well, it was all a mistake, but they had to keep Bara for a while until they are sure she isn't dangerous." Ash stared at him, confused.

"But she's tame..."

"I know she's tame, but you know how people can get scared at her when they've never met her before, just like I was, remember?"

"Yeah, you woke me up!" She replied, the hints of a smile returning to her face. Chase sighed with relief.

"I did. They will bring her back to us soon, though, and I'm sure they'll take good care of her." Chase started picking up the dirty pizza plates from the bed, piling them in the kitchen counter. "Besides" he added "We need some time to get her a new litter box and a place to sleep, don't we?"

"Uh huh," She replied, nodding in agreement.

"Now, come on, we have to fix your room!" he said, and they walked towards the bed parts leaving chunks of snow melting in the carpet. The room was now very warm, and quite messy, but Ash tore happily at the plastic covering her bed, humming a lively tune, and for the first time he felt excited at the prospect of this new life he would start, all the endless possibilities. But… What if he never made it right? What if he wasn't parent material, what if he was terrible at it, what if Ash came to resent him, what if she turned out to have in her the same bitter hatred Claire had had towards him the last time he'd seen her? This was the only chance he was going to get at making it right. This was all or nothing.

Ash sat in the sofa playing with a wad of used papers and a Chase's pens and stamps and staplers, while he struggled with the bed's screws. He didn't have the right size screwdriver so he had to make an effort not to force them too hard. When it was finally up, it was time to bring out all the stuff he kept in the spare room. A lot of it would have to be given away, or thrown as rubbish. It was already completely dark when everything was out and all was left was an empty room and a brand new bed. He'd shoved the desk and all the books into a corner in the living room, and all the cleaning supplies in tight cabinets in the kitchen. The closet was thankfully empty, and together with Ash they cleaned out the dust and folded all her clothes in.

"Is this a guitar" he heard Ash say behind him, and he looked back to see her pointing at his black violin case sitting atop a heap of papers, clothes and odd junk. "It looks like a very little guitar." She ran her hands through the opening latch, and the case opened.

"That's a violin" he answered, grabbing the instrument that had been sitting on the back of the wardrobe accumulating dust for the past couple of years.

"Can you play?" Ash asked, her voice eager.

"It's been a long time, but I guess I can" He ran his hands through the strings and plucked them one by one, adjusting the pegs as he did. Then he grabbed the bow, but when he ran against the strings the sound was hissy and unpleasant, it needed rosin and cleaning.

"Do you know a Lion King song?" She asked, pushing the hair off her face. He shook his head as he tightened the hairs of the bow.

"You don't have a piano, right?"

"No, sorry."

"Can I have it?" she stretched her hands, and Chase gave her the violin. "I don't know how to play. I like pianos. I learnt at school, it's fun." She plucked a few strings, but she winced at the high-pitched noise, and gave it back. Chase placed it on the growing mountain of stuff yet to be sorted, and he knew he still had a lot of work to do, the room needed painting, a night table, a shelf probably, but it would all take a couple of days. He still hadn't bought linens for the new bed, so when they were done for the day he retreated to the couch again, but this time, he slept easy.

i-i-i-i-i

The next day was filled with trying to get through a really big shopping list. It had been a while since he had to buy anything for the apartment, and he had never bought clothes for anyone other than himself. The first stop was the hardware and home store, where Ash rode inside the huge shopping cart, and he filled it with paint -a light turquoise colour Ash picked- as well as some fittings for shelves and the like. Then they got some basic furniture, a simple wooden nightstand and drawer chest. They chose a bedspread together, and some linens, all matching in sunset-coloured stripes.

"Uncle Robbie?" she called him as they drove back to the apartment, the boot and the back seat filled to the brim with bags. He had had to go buy groceries as well, his fridge and cupboard were now all empty, and though he indulged in treats more than he did before, he realised how much his eating (and cooking!) habits would have to change now. He even bought a recipe book.

"You know, you can just call me Robbie if you want. Uncle Robbie is a little long." He said, driving really slowly across a bump in the road, but it still shook the car, rattling the stuff behind them.

"Fine. Robbie… are we going to your house now?"

"Yes, and it's your house too, now"

"And what are we going to do?" The watch had just marked one o'clock.

"We are going to set this all up, maybe start painting your room, we'll have lunch and then you'll come with me to the hospital so I can talk to my bosses. Sound like a plan?" It had already been more than two weeks, and he hadn't talked with either House or Cuddy. He was actually surprised none of them had called his apartment yet. He would have to make special arrangements, because there was no way he could keep working on House's schedule anymore. Ash just looked happy now, holding a plush red fox he had gotten for her while they shopped for more winter clothes. He still had to think of a day-care, the occasional babysitter, and of course a school, but he pushed those things to the back of his mind. Emma had told him she was in the American equivalent of kindergarten, so there was no rush to send her to class until the academic year ended.

i-i-i-i

It took three trips up and down the elevator to the fifth floor to get everything out, and when it was finally done they the mess almost prevented them from walking through the hallway. Chase started putting the food and supplies away, and in one hour everything was where it was supposed to, the paint and shelves the only remaining things.

"Hey Ash, want to help me make lunch?" He called out to her, and she came running from her room from where she was taking all the toys she had fit in her suitcase and was now lining them carefully on the carpet. The couple of boxes they had mailed would be arriving in the next couple of days, carrying the books and photo albums that would fill the shelves and the bookcase, the frames that would be hung in Ash's room. A litter box now lay, unused, in the bathroom, and a ferret bed on the corner of her room. A couple of rough drawings hanged precariously from the windows, stuck together with tape. Chase grabbed a chair for Ash to step on as he fried some beef and cooked potatoes in the oven, the first home cooked meal for both since leaving Cape Town.

"Ok, time to go" Chase said as he finished washing the dishes. "Come on, put your jacket on." Ash looked up from her new colouring crayons, and pouted.

"But I was just starting…" she said.

"You can take the crayons," he told her. "And you can draw there too." There were quite a lot of crayons, but he didn't care then, he just wanted her to be happy and entertained and he just didn't know what he'd do if she started crying. Was she one of those bossy kids with loud tantrums? So far she'd seemed calm, but he couldn't really know for sure. Still, he wasn't taking chances on that happening while they were in the hospital. He was anxious enough as it was.

"I can?"

"Yes, of course. And take your sketchbook too."

**A/N: Thank you for reading, I'll have more out soon. Comments make my day!**


	6. Chapter 6

**Ash, Like The Tree**

**Author's note: Again, I'm sorry if I kept you waiting. I was having a little trouble putting together what was mine and what was left of the collaboration in this chapter. I now have a pretty solid idea where this is heading and where I'm ending it so bear with me. I haven't checked this for typos, I will in the morning, so you'll have to excuse me for those. Also, this is the first time I've written about House as a character, I hope I'm not that off. And, by the way, since this story is entirely mine now (well, House MD obviously isn't but you get the point) I had a change of heart about Ash's age. She was based on my four-year old cousin but considering how precocious she is (my cousin) you could do well picturing her as about five or six, though I won't actually write the change in the story, she's still four there. Well, enjoy and comment!**

**Disclaimer: Don't own it.**

6.

They drove to the hospital, and Chase parked in his usual spot. The security guard looked a bit confused, seeing him walking holding hands with a four year old girl, but he said hello and Chase replied with a smile and that was it. They headed straight into Cuddy's office. She was sitting in her desk, talking on the phone, but waved him in through the glass doors with a smile. She kept nodding her head at the phone for a while, then muttered an instruction and hung up – only then did she raise her head and looked up.

"Dr. Chase! I was not expecting you till next Monday," she said. Chase bit his tongue, cursing House inwardly. He could be at home sleeping, and he could've used the next day to finish up on Ash's room and the rest… God, why did he still feel so tired?

"Dr. Cuddy, this is my niece, Ash. I… I haven't gotten around to finding a day care so…"

"Oh, don't worry about it. We have a day care in the hospital, I'm sure there'll be no trouble signing her up." She bent down to look at Ash, who had hidden behind Chase at the mention of her name. Cuddy waved, and Ash slowly showed her head and waved back. "How old are you, sweetie?" she asked. Ash hesitated for a moment, then answered, looking at the floor.

"Four," she said. "But I'll be five soon."

"Four? I've got a daughter who's four. Maybe you can meet her someday." She showed Ash to the corner Rachel sometimes played in when she came to work with her, and she quickly started running her hands through some storybooks. Cuddy turned back to Chase.

"She looks like you… How is she taking everything? I mean, with the move and all…"

"I… I don't know," Chase admitted, feeling his face starting to tingle. "I mean, she looks all right, and she seems happy and she plays and talks to me, but… I think that she forgets. I'm sure if she really understands."

"Yes… it will probably take her time. If you need any help, I can give you my sitter's number. Don't worry, you'll do fine."

"Thank you." Chase looked down. He knew she wanted to ask him about himself, but he was relieved that she understood he wasn't really up for it. He fiddled uncomfortably with the paperweight on the desk, and looked up.

"Have you been to see House yet?" Cuddy asked, her voice of business returning.

"I was going to see him right now. I'm worried about the schedule, I don't know if I'll be able to keep up the hours like before…"

"House is not going to like it… but talk to him. If he doesn't budge we can still work something out for you."

"Thank you very much," he said, and stood.

"Don't worry about it. I know how hard it is."

Chase smiled, remembering when Cuddy had just adopted Rachel.

"Do you think you could keep an eye on her while I go talk to House?" he turned, and saw Ash was still on the corner, painting a bright yellow tree in one of the colouring sheets.

"Sure" he stood up and told Ash he would be right back, and left the room when she nodded. He was walking away from the glass doors when he heard her voice, fainter now.

"It's Ash like the tree… Do you have a piano?" He smiled and took the elevator to the diagnostics office.

i-i-i-i

He arrived to find House in the rest of the team right in the middle of a differential, board squiggled and empty coffee mugs lining the table. He walked in without knocking.

"Chase!" Masters said, her face bright, and immediately everyone else turned towards him. He stopped, still underneath the doorframe. Foreman stood and patted him in the shoulder.

"Welcome back, nice to see you," he said, and Chase nodded thanks, then proceed to find a seat. He placed his hands on the back of the chair, but before he could pull it back House slammed his cane on it.

**"**Have people no manners now?" he said, turned towards him. "We're in the middle of something here." Chase looked away.

"What, do you want be to go back out and knock the door?" he said, not in the mood for jokes. He pushed the cane away and sat down, pulling a file and flicking it open. "You wanted me here, so I'm here." House frowned, and looked behind at the glass window, then behind the table.

"What are you looking for?" asked Masters. House turned towards Chase again.

"Where's the kid?" he asked. Chase stared back in silence.

"What kid?" said Foreman.

"Chase has a kid now," House explained, before Chase had a chance. "She's four, isn't she? You've left her in the closet or is she here?"

"She's not here?"

"What kid? Your sister's? " Foreman asked, a bit wide-eyed at the information. "She's living with you now?"

"Yeah" Chase said, and then leaned over towards his boss. "House, I need to talk to you about –"

"Wow" It was Taub's turn, now. "Didn't picture you with a kid…" Chase grinned. It was an image he was getting used to.

"So are you back for real?" Foreman asked

"I already talked to Cuddy. I'll start on Monday, if you'll take me. I'm just here to talk to House and…"

"Is that right? Because if I remember correctly, I said you had to be here in time for the seminary… And that was three days ago," House replied, then sent Foreman and the others to order more tests on the patient. Chase dropped his shoulders, sighing.

"Well, I don't see my replacement," he said.

"Oh, he called in sick today. But you'll like him. Really funny guy. He can lick his own elbow."

"House… If you're firing me, I'd appreciate it if you'd just do it; I've got to get back home." He looked anxiously at his watch. House was silent for a while, then he smiled, just for an instant. Chase sighed with relief.

"Thank you," he said, and he got up to leave.

"Oh, come on, it's not like I pay you that much. In fact, with your new schedule, you may go a little hungry."

"No… I mean for the call." There was no sign of acknowledgement. "At the airport? What did you tell them?" he asked. House did not look up from his file.

"Oh, you'll never know" He answered.

"See you on Monday, House."

i-i-i-i

He arrived on Monday early, and no one was in at the office. They had solved their case over the weekend so there was no rush to be there on time. He had managed to get Ash on the hospital day-care, with Cuddy's help. She had been in a similar place in Cape Town when Claire went to school so he hoped it wasn't too hard on her. Cuddy had given him a few baby sitter's numbers as well as some school advice, when he returned for Ash after seeing House, and they even arranged for a play date with Rachel in the future. Ash had not interacted with kids her own age since the accident, so that would be a change for her. They had spent the weekend giving some final touches to Ash's bedroom, but for the last two days Chase had woken up to find Ash lying in bed next to him. He suspected she was having nightmares, and he didn't make her leave, he had nightmares too.

She didn't shed a tear when he walked away from the day-care that morning, but she didn't look her usual cheerful either. He started making the coffee, and taking a look at patient's files while it dripped on his mug. The white board stood in the corner, House's handwriting spiralled all over it with symptoms and possible conditions, the one they had already ruled out crossed out several times, but the condition it had turned out to be was none of the possibilities.

"Hey" said Martha, pushing the glass doors open and stepping inside, her voice as cheery as always.

"Hi," he answered, looking up from a file.

"So...how are things?" Chase sighed. He wondered if he would've gotten all those questions if Claire had died without children. He was getting tired of it, but Masters didn't seem very comfortable either. She probably just felt like it was the right thing to ask.

"I think they're as well as can be expected" he replied, as vague an answer as he could make it.

"I mean, it must be hard..." she pressed on. Chase looked at her, a bit annoyed, but she didn't appear to be asking out of plain curiosity. She just looked...worried.

"It's just… very different. Everything is different now." He left it at that, as he saw House and the rest of the team approaching the conference room. The banter of a possible diagnosis of the new patient was refreshing. It had been a while, so it took a bit more effort for Chase to catch up. He'd been expecting more intrusion from House, but he made no comments, and though he was sure it would not last for long he felt relieved. He could still do this, he could still have the life he'd had before… He stopped his thought right there, as Claire popped into his head and suddenly he wasn't sure anymore. _Her life had seemed better. _

i-i-i-i-i

House sat in his office, and the computer screen obscured pretty much everyone in the corridor, but suddenly, from the corner of the glass doors, a face peeked inside. It was a young girl, no older than five, and he could see her because she was kneeling almost down to the floor, her head tilted so her hair fell in a mess over her face, curly and copper red. When she met his eyes she giggled, and pulled right away. He stood in time to see her running somewhat unsteadily in the slippery hospital corridors. Did he know her? She'd looked so familiar...

He walked to the door, and opened it just enough to look out to the hallway.

"Hey!" he said, but she kept walking slowly ahead, and there was just no way he was chasing after her. "Hey, redhead!" he called, louder, and now she stopped, and turned to look back at him. "Yes, you! Come here." The girl approached slowly, hesitating. House could see her more closely now, and the faint resemblance he had suspected was a lot more obvious. Yes, this was her. 'What's your name?" he asked. The girl stared at him with a frown, and she was silent for a while, before finally considering appropriate to answer.

"Ash..." she said, with a slight raise in her voice that made it seem like she wasn't so sure, almost like a question. House scoffed.

"What a ridiculous name," he said. The girl did not seemed put off at all.

"It's Ash like the tree," she clarified, "not what's left in the chimney." She said it like it would make all the difference, and then eyed him curiously. Her accent confirmed his doubts, but still he found it a little strange, then he remembered where Chase had gone. Her small hand touched his cane, and he pulled back. She frowned again.

"Are you a doctor?" she asked.

"Yes" he answered. "I work with your uncle." The girl's eyes widened.

"How do you know who my uncle is? Are you his mean boss?" So this kid knew who he was. Probably Chase had warned her about him. It wouldn't be surprising.

"I'm the one and only," he said, chuckling. "And your uncle isn't here. Aren't you supposed to be in day-care or something?"

"It's bo-ring" she said, in singsong, and looked down at her shoes, the bright yellow boots she had chosen over the weekend. House chuckled.

"What? You don't like finger painting and building blocks? I find it _fascinating,_" He was surprised when she shook her head.

"No you don't…" she said, with a chuckle. "They said there that I speak funny, also."

"Well, you do speak a little funny."

"I don't!" She crossed her arms. House laughed.

"Yes you do. But funny's cool." Now she brightened up.

"You think so?"

"Yeah, well," he chuckled again, and shrugged. "Could be, couldn't it?"

"I guess... so?" She shook her head, then looked up at him again as if she'd just realised she'd been tricked. Then she shook it again, and dismissed that thought. She took another step towards the office. "Do you have a piano?" she asked. House held the door for a moment, peered around to make sure no one was looking, then opened it to let her in.

i-i-i-i-i

Chase was already getting the hang of being back to work, even though it had not been long. He had been sent to search the patient's home and was now returning with a sample of mold and a couple of cleaning supplies to test in the lab, while Taub went on to get a more detailed family history. He was alone for that moment, and he enjoyed it, it was much better than the awkward silences he found himself stuck in when the others were around, because they wanted to ask questions and didn't know how, or thought maybe random topics or conversations would upset him, or worse, steered it so that he would tell them. That would pass, he knew, like it had passed when he and Cameron broke up, but still he felt different. He'd been angry before, now the anger had faded to the background, though it had not entirely disappeared. He felt guilty, and sad, and concerned, but the rage did not surge like before. He was over anger, he'd convinced himself of it, he wasn't going to punch at someone for an innocent jibe or explode into shouts or slam his fists at the wall, all of that no longer felt like an out. He only wished they could all go back to normal like when they didn't know he even had a sister, so that maybe he would too.

The hospital was freakishly silent as he carried the test results back to the diagnostics office. They were inconclusive, but then again he hadn't expected it to be that easy. The elevator door opened, and he was surprised to find both lights were off in the diagnostic medicine department. That was weird, he would have expected to see House, or even the rest of the team waiting, but the office was deserted. Does that mean he's done for the day? It was past six already… But even if he wasn't, the deal with Cuddy only had him working up to six, so he left the results on the table and grabbed his messenger bag from the floor. He headed downstairs to the day-care. He felt a bit guilty for not going round at lunch to say hi like he said he would, and hoped the day had gone just fine. The middle aged nurse on the entrance greeted him with a smile, but slightly nervous eyes.

"Dr. Chase, hello" She looked a bit confused, and Chase wondered if there was a special protocol for the day-care he wasn't following.

"Hi, I'm here to pick up Ash." He noticed most of the teachers were already gone, and few kids remained as well.

"Ash? Uh, she..." The nurse trailed off, refusing to look him in the eye. Chase dropped his nice guy tone when he spoke to her again.

"She, what? She's not here?"

"Dr. House took her, about forty minutes ago." She blurted out nervously, and looked to the floor. "He said you'd sent him, I figured..." Chase looked at the ceiling, balling his fists and forgetting all his previous reflections about rage. He had actually thought House would leave him alone, at least for a while, but now he had gone ahead and taken Ash. Rage was there, all right. How had he done it? He didn't even know what she looked like…

"You figured what?" His voice rose higher now. "Don't you know Dr. House? He lies! He'd say anything. Do you know where he is?" The nurse shook her head no. Chase knew Ash was safe with House, but he still felt mad, angrier than he knew was reasonable and he didn't quite understand it himself, he just felt it.

"He went down that corridor and turned left," Another nurse said, apparently listening in on his conversation. Chase looked down. What was down there? There were restrooms, a little further down was the cafeteria… Hell, he could be anywhere. He turned his back on the nurse, and went down where she had pointed, walking aimlessly for a few metres, and then he heard the music.

Three soft notes, short and high pitched, rang through the air like a precious child's music box, followed by two slightly lower ones, and then the first three again, in a slow succession, on and on, and peaking in the highest, brightest, most beautiful of tones. Chase froze in the middle of the dark, empty hallway, and held his breath, listening closely. It was a piano. And the music… He knew that song. He broke into a run, and opened the door to the chapel. House looked up at him, a finger across his mouth, and Ash's face was obscured behind a giant piano.

The sequence was repeated, lower now, the main notes the same and the undertone slowly gathering force, taking over, gathering speed, and then a loud, dark and heart wrenching melody burst, Chase shivered and felt the hair at the back of his neck rise, it was glorious, and it was sad and it ran through him, and when it faded away and the first tune came back he felt shaky, but a clear image had formed in his mind. Yes, he knew the song. Again it was rising, and he saw a wide plain, rain falling down on a scorched earth, a dark blue night and grass waving in the wind, a cloud coming down from a sky full of stars. He saw Claire's face when she was Ash's age, crying, and smiling at the same time, and dunes, waving dunes and drums, he could hear the drums. It was happy again, and brighter and brighter, building towards an end, and then the end was there and he was certain. It was still a piano and somehow it sounded like drums, a quick dancing tune and he felt his face pulling as he smiled, he could almost hear the voices that he knew broke into song in the original piece. He saw dawn coming as the music faded, a red dawn, a huge yellow sun, and moments later the bluest of skies.

Somehow he found the use of his legs again, and he finished his path and came to House's side, but before he could see her House pushed him away, pointing to his face. Chase raised a hand to his cheek, only then he realised he'd been crying. He wiped his face dry and then stepped forwards, and Ash beamed when she saw him. God, why was she so much like her? She ran her hands over the keys and looked up to House.

"Yes, I missed a couple, but…"

"It was perfect," said Chase, in a hushed voice. House scrunched his face.

"Well, the pace was a little off at the start…" he said.

"You were doing the same pace!" said Ash, turning to House, in a high pitched voice. "I was following you…"

"No, I was following you, you were the one who knew the song," said House.

"It was beautiful, Ash," said Chase, and rounded the bench and touched her shoulder. She stood and grabbed his shirt.

"Your boss can play the piano!" she said, excited. "And he's not mean at all!" Chase chuckled, and held Ash's hand. House stared at him, raising his eyebrows, and then looked down at Ash.

"Now, where would you be getting that _horrible_ idea?" he asked. Ash turned back to Chase.

"Well, _he_ said… Oh! I'm sorry!"

"It's all right. We're going home now…"

"Your boss said he's got a piano at home. Can we go there?"

"Uh, I don't think…" Chase looked at House, sure he was going to say the same thing right away, but then saw with shock and dread that he didn't.

"Yeah, she seems to be under the impression that my name is Yourboss," he said, and bent down, picking up his cane. "It's House, by the way."

"House is not a name," she said, crossing her arms like she'd caught him on a joke.

"Neither is Ash," he said.

"Yes it is! It's a tree name!"

"And mine's a house name! As in _House…" _

"There are no _house_ names, it would be silly."

"Sure there are house names! Flat… Condominium. Cabin. Cottage. Semidetached…"

"You're making those up."

"I'm not! There's also…"

"House!" Chase butted in. "We really need to go now."

"See? My name _is _House…"

"Ash, come on…" He pulled Ash's hand and started for the chapel door, but he turned back before he left, while House still was only taking steps out between the rows of benches. "And House, don't take her out of day care again." House scoffed.

"She managed to do that all on her own, don't pull me into it…"

"House. Just… please? Goodbye."

Ash was silent, sitting in the car, while Chase tried every radio station for one that she wouldn't shake her head to. God, he was so tired… He gave up, and switched the volume off as he got on the expressway, and though he thought for a moment to start a conversation, what could he really say to an almost-five-year old girl? Claire had told stories, she'd been brilliant at it… She could spin a tale about anything, he remembered that, but he'd always been useless in that respect. When Claire was little, he'd played games with her; they'd build giant paths out of discarded toilet paper rolls and throw marbles down from them. It had been fun for a while, and then she'd decided it wasn't fun anymore. They'd watch movies together. Claire had seen her favourites so many times the VHS tapes had worn down and would no longer play.

"Your mum loved _The Lion King_ best of all when she was young," he muttered. "She watched it so many times it broke down. She loved that part, the part of the song, when Simba comes back to be king." He hoped to see her brighten up, but instead she turned away to face the window. "Ash?"

"Is that why you were crying?" she asked. Chase felt his face draining of all blood, and he squeezed the steering wheel till his knuckles shone white. His first impulse was to deny it, or to lie and say they were tears of joy, because she played so beautifully, but he could not bring himself to it. "I saw you when you came in. Your boss told me I shouldn't say, but…"

"Ash… you know that I miss your mum very much, don't you?"

"Yes."

"That song reminded me a lot of her, and us… when were younger and we still… But it's all right. Everything's fine, you don't… you don't have to worry about it."

"But… why were you upset?"

"I wasn't upset…"

"But you were crying… And you were mad at your boss."

"I was mad at him because of something else… I'm not mad anymore, so it's all right… Do you want to order pizza when we get home? It's a little late and I don't think…" He tried desperately to steer the topic, but apparently she noticed more than he gave her credit. There was no easy way out now.

"Why are you mad at my mum?" she asked, and Chase felt that for a second he could not draw a breath. How could she know that? Had he been that obvious? Had he shouted in his sleep? He thought he was over the anger, he thought he'd left it behind, it wasn't fair it crept back on him like this. He turned to Ash, and saw that she had two dark red marks over each cheekbones, the same marks she had when she was about to cry.

"I'm not… I'm not mad at your mum, I just wish… I miss her, that's all…"

"Then why didn't you come and visit us if you missed her?" she said, sniffing. Chase felt anxious, he was suddenly hot and his face felt like it was on fire. "Why do you only miss her now?"

"Ash… Your mum was really mad at me, too, before she died, and she never wanted me – "

"But…. But she said you were nice and that you were a doctor and that you cured people because you were really good… Why would she be mad at you?"

"Ash, I don't think you understand –" He stopped, because she screamed then, an incredibly loud and high-pitched scream like the one you'd expect from someone about to be mugged, but he had no time to say anything, because when he raised his eyes he saw the flickering high lights of the car coming from the other lane, and he cursed himself in that instant for the distraction, for his own anger because he knew he had no right to be angry, for the guilt and shame he hid away, for not even considering atoning, for knowing that his chance for real forgiveness was gone, for wasting his chance and for ignoring the possibility of a different life, a gift, a door, that had been open for him but now was closed again. Then he felt the impact, as they crashed head-on, left headlights colliding with each other, and both cars spun around in the opposite direction. He slammed against his seatbelt, but it was loose enough that his head hit the wheel before the airbag exploded in his face and pushed him so hard into his seat he felt he would sink right through.

**A/N: Thank you for reading! I'm evil, I know. I already have what comes next written... or about half of it anyway. Just so you know, reviews would be a great incentive for quicker updating! Hahaha that's an evil laugh. Comments, reviews and suggestions are all very welcome! Oh, and by the way, the song I'm referring to is This Land, by Hans Zimmer, soundtrack for the Lion King. I mentioned it a few paragraphs below the cut here but thought I'd let you know anyway. Listen to it those of you who don't know it, and those that don't remember, it will immediately come back. It's an amazing song, an amazing movie, simply the best!**


	7. Chapter 7

**Ash, Like The Tree**

**Author's note: Here's another chapter for you! I actually finished this yesterday but reading it through in the morning I decided to change a few things, I hope I did right and that you readers like it, please let me know either way! Thank you so very much for your reviews, it's amazing to know what people think of this and that it's actually being read. You make my day and you inspire me. I hope this chapter is at least somewhat satisfying. The story is not over yet, though! Still got a few chapters to go, so hang in there!**

**Disclaimer: Don't own it.**

**7.**

As soon as the white of airbag was out of his face Chase turned to the side, but the sound of Ash wailing was for the first time comforting, and when he turned he saw her on her seat crying her heart out but looking otherwise okay. The airbag on her side had not deployed, and he was thankful for it, because it had hurt more than the crash, though he tried he could not draw a full breath, he felt like there was still a crushing weight on his chest even though the bag was completely deflated. Ash was tearing at her seatbelt, and he remembered then he should've bought her a car seat, he could not remember to what age kids should use it, but he was pretty sure she was still in the range. He turned to her side, and undid her belt, he reached for her hand but she wouldn't squeeze his, and she wouldn't stop crying.

"Ash! Ash, it's all right, it's all right… Does anything hurt? Tell me, please…" She stared at him, eyes wide, and screamed louder. "Ash, please! Please…" he took off his seat belt, feeling a blinding pain shooting up his head for an instant, but then his vision cleared and he shifted across the gear stick to face Ash. He held both her shoulders, forcing her to look up at him, and her sob was caught in the middle of her throat, and she kept her eyes on him with her mouth still open. "Are you all right? Does anything hurt? Tell me, please… Ash, please!" She raised her hands to her eyes, covering half her face.

"Why are you yelling?" she sobbed. Chase shut his eyes, squeezing his fists and letting out a shallow breath.

"I'm sorry, I'm so sorry… I need to know if you're all right…" he told her. She dropped her hands to look back at him for just a moment, and pointed at him in horror and fear. Already there was a wail of sirens in the distance, and a hundred cars honking their horns behind them.

"Your face!" she said. Chase raised his fingers to his forehead, and they came out bloody. He wiped it off, finding the source at his hairline.

"It's just a little cut… Ash, are you all —" He stopped, as someone knocked hard on his window, once, twice.

"Hey! HEY!" someone outside called, it was snowing and Chase couldn't see who it was. "Open the damn window!"

"Fine, fine!" he said, and lowered the stiff handle. A furious guy was standing in front of the door, his face flushed and his nose swollen purple. He seemed completely out of it, breathing hard and puffing, both fists clenched tight.

"What the hell is the matter with you? You _completely_ invaded our lane! Broke my nose man!"

"I'm just… I'm sorry, please, just let me get my niece out of the car…" Chase started. Ash was wailing again, so loud he felt her screams pierce his ears and he couldn't even talk properly, all he could think about was that something had to be seriously wrong, she could not cry like this, she shouldn't, it couldn't be _normal_… But she was wriggling in her seat, she couldn't open her door because it was pressed against the guardrail, she held her head up and did not look hurt at all. _Thank God. _He imagined Emma there with him. She would surely be screaming at him worse than the raging man outside, but maybe it would've been best with her, or maybe if she'd been there, he'd never had crashed. But… Why was he thinking so much about Emma? She popped into his mind almost as often as Claire did.

"Did you hear me, man? You almost sent us over the railing. You almost killed us, for God's sake! Get out of the car!" he was shouting now, voice coarse and cracked. Chase reached for Ash and she stiffened, but her screams never stopped and he had to completely bend over to get her out from his own seat.

"All right!" he yelled back, and Ash yelled louder. He carried against his shoulder, she was light enough that it wasn't hard, but still when he took a step away from the mangled cars he staggered, and had to lean back on his seat's mirror. _This is hell. This has got to be hell. This is Punishment. _He'd thought guilt had been terrible enough — it most definitely wasn't. And he couldn't help but think that he deserved it.

Chase turned back and saw the worst traffic he'd ever seen, on both sides of the road. It had been a miracle there had been no pile up, it was just a two lane street and there had not been a lot of cars a few minutes ago, but with the flow interrupted it was now packed. The two cars had their noses and right sides against the railings, and their backs touched, though it was the right front sides of both that were crumpled. Chase took a deep breath and struggled to shut out the loud, loud sounds of the sirens, the horns, the shouting and the wailing, he tried to imagine all he heard was Ash's fingers softly pressing on the piano keys, playing the soft tunes of that soundtrack that had sent him so far back. She played so beautifully…

"I want this guy tested for alcohol!" he heard the guy from the other car call out, as a police truck managed to snake in across the traffic and reach the scene. A cop pulled out, and the guy walked towards him. "He was driving in my lane. Against the traffic! My car is totalled. He's a foreigner, too…" Chase closed his eyes, groaning from the pain in his head and the overpowering frustration, he wanted to kick at the ground, to scream like a child in a tantrum, he wanted to take Ash and just run off, he wanted her to stop crying, it just killed him that she was crying…

"Robbie…" Ash suddenly said, between sniffs. Her voice was very low and soft, like she was finally too tired to cry. Chase pulled her slightly away from him to see her face, the dark red marks on her cheeks, her eyes huge and swollen red.

"It's all right…" he whispered.

"My shoulder hurts," she said, in the same hushed voice. Chase lowered her down, and she stood against the car.

"Where?" he asked. She pointed to where her seatbelt had been against her, and he could see a bruise starting to form below her neck, but she didn't appear to be in a lot of pain, and he was pretty sure it was nothing more than a bruise. She sniffed again, but there was no more wailing. He sighed with relief, and just managed to smile, but then someone pulled his own shoulder so hard he swung back and almost tripped. The man was there again, and behind him were two policemen. In the few minutes that had passed the police truck had managed to tow the other car into the auxiliary where Chase's car was, and traffic was once running through the road, the honking horns much diminished now.

"That's him. He's got to be drunk for sure, no one just waltzes into the opposite lane and… he's even got a kid with him! Irresponsible bastard…"

"Please, sir…" the cop started, talking to the other man, but Chase couldn't hear what he said after that. The man scoffed and turned away towards the ambulance that had now arrived, and the sirens stopped. Chase followed him with his eyes, and saw him meet a woman there, sitting in a gurney with a blanket on his back, she had a white bandage on her head, the man sat next to her and wrapped her arms around her. _What is wrong with me?_ Chase thought. He could've killed somebody. How could he have been so distracted, how could he have done that? He shivered, only partly from the cold, and a paramedic led Ash away and he couldn't even react quick enough to stop them. He took a deep breath to let go of the balance the car provided, and pushed himself away. He noticed a vibration, it puzzled him greatly for about an instant, and then he reached down his back pocket for his ringing phone.

"Hello?" he said, almost shouting.

"Whoa! Tone it down, you're on speaker again. Come to work, now. Patient's coded. And I do mean right now."

"I can't, House," he said, and he hung up. He managed to reach the patrol car he was being called to, and he was handed an alcoholmeter. He was hesitant to blow it, he still felt he could only take shallow breaths, and he was too tired to hold it for long enough to blow. He heard the man call out from the ambulance.

"See, he's drunk!"

"I'm not drunk," said Chase. "I'm a doctor, I was coming home from work, I'm just tired…"

"Sir, please blow on this tube…" the cop repeated. His partner was already going through Chase's papers. Chase blew, and felt an irrational fear while he waited for them to tell him the result. What if it said he _was_ drunk? He might lose his license, go to jail… He might even lose Ash, she would go back to South Africa, then at least he knew Emma would take better care of her than he had, but what if she wasn't sent there? What if she was sent to foster care? He might never see her again… A few weeks ago that might've made no difference to him, but now he found that it mattered to no end. He had nothing but her.

"He's not drunk," the first cop said, and Chase felt himself sagging with released tension, but he stiffened up when the vibration surprised him, and he picked up his phone again, somehow forgetting that only one person could be calling him.

"Hello?" he said, and breathed out painfully, knowing it was House.

"I'll give you half an hour. Be here, or you're out of a job. I already gave you almost a month; if you can't do your work then you're of no use to me."

"House, I—"

"Be here!"

"House, I have just crashed my goddamn car!" he yelled, giving in for a second to the temptation of throwing a tantrum. There was a moment's pause on the other side of the line, and the policeman started asking questions, noting them down on a form. He shook his head and sighed when Chase told him he wasn't affiliated to any of those insurance companies that tortured him on every TV commercial.

"Order a cab, Cuddy will pay for it," said House, somewhat more understanding, but Chase was all out of patience.

"I'm not coming to work, House! Go ahead and fire me, I don't give a damn." He hung up again. The phone rang, and rang, and rang, but he ignored it. He proceeded to answering questions and talking to the other man's insurance company, he called a tow truck and the workshop where his car would be taken to, he asked about costs for his car and also for the other guy's, after being told that insurance didn't cover everything, especially with the other car being a BMW and quite a fancy one too. He cursed in his mind and out loud, repeatedly, till he was finally done with everything and he walked wearily to the small ambulance and sat next to Ash's side. Her arm was in a sling, but the paramedic told him there was nothing wrong with her, it was just a bruise and it would soon fade. Chase refused getting looked at, he was desperate to get home, but when he got off Ash refused to follow him. "Ash… We have to go home," he said. She turned her face away, her dark red marks were gone but her lips were tight and she tossed her head back.

"I want to stay here," she said.

"But it's… It's cold and I'm so tired… Please? Tomorrow we can do whatever you want, we can… We can go to the zoo! We can… make muffins and… I don't know, whatever you want to do, just please… I'm so sorry. Will you forgive me?" he asked, hesitantly. Ash still would not look at him, and the two paramedics were staring at him like he had suddenly turned blue. Was he so terrible at it? Was it something like this that had driven Claire away, that had made her come to hate him? Was he doing it again?

"I don't…" Ash started, her voice tiny. "I don't like you angry. I only like you happy," she said. Chase held his breath for a moment. He thought of denying it again, saying he wasn't angry, because he wasn't angry at her and she shouldn't have to be affected by it. But he felt it would be cheating. He obviously did not have his anger under control, or she wouldn't have noticed, and he wouldn't have crashed either. He couldn't tell her why he was mad, she wouldn't understand, and she didn't have to. But he had to tell her something, and something true.

"Well, I… I do like _you_… when you're happy and when you're moody too," he tried a smile, and only then Ash raised her eyes to meet his. "Even when you scream so high you could make glasses explode, I still like you." She chuckled then. And though he knew this wasn't the end of it, he felt he'd just won an Olympic medal.

Chase picked up the phone and dialled the first three digits for ordering pizza once he got home, but then he spotted two discarded pizza boxes near the trash and decided he had to actually cook something, despite feeling like he'd been run over. Ash was already asleep in the couch, but he knew she would wake up with the smell of the food, and he headed for the kitchen. He baked chicken and potatoes, and like he'd predicted Ash was awake the moment he laid the plates on the table, but she sat down to eat without a word. And she always talked, she always at least smiled, she was never this moody when eating. He knew he had to talk to her. He didn't want to. He would've done anything instead of talking about Claire and the guilt and his own responsibility. And Ash would never understand. But he had to, even just for himself, he had to.

"Ash…" he started. And that was all he could think of saying… How, HOW? She looked at him, eyes at half mast, and her hair messy and over her face. "I need to talk to you." He gulped. She nodded.

"About my mum?" she said. He nodded. How could she tell? Was he so transparent? He'd thought he never let anything show, but Claire had always been able to read him. Apparently she could too. She waited, patiently, for him to start.

"Yes. I'm very sorry I got upset. Look, your mum… When we were little… She was about your age, and I was older, I was in school, and we got along really well, we were best friends, just like she told you… We looked out for each other, well, mostly I looked out for her. Has she ever talked to you about your… grandparents?" Ash nodded. Chase looked away from her, wondering how much exactly she'd been told. Probably all she knew was that they were both dead. "Well, not a lot changed when your grandmother died, but soon after I had to leave... To study. I could not look out for her all the time anymore. At first it was fine, but then… School got much harder, I moved away, she was staying sometimes with my grandparents, sometimes even with my dad, and I could not know what went on during that time, I had no control. She wasn't happy. She changed. And because I didn't do anything and because I didn't understand, she didn't like me anymore." He stopped, silent for a moment. Ash did not comment or ask anything, but if she understood she also did not show it. He continued, he had to go on otherwise he'd never finish. "I tried to make it the way it was before. It didn't work, she left, and I didn't see her again. I stopped trying. Then, I tried one last time, and it worked. She picked up the phone when I called and she talked to me, it was almost like before. But I was scared. And it had been such a long time; I felt she was a different person… I didn't call again and then it was too late. I was mad because… I could've had that again. I remembered how good it had been. But I can't now, and I'm angry, I can never have it again, because I gave up and then I ruined my chance, and because your mum was always too proud to take the first step, and it's wrong to be angry with someone who's dead but I can't help it, I am."

He turned on his seat, and picked their empty plates, not bearing the silence. He washed the dishes, feeling his eyes incredibly heavy, and he wobbled when walking back to the living room. Ash was in the sofa, and he sat next to her. There was a car alarm wailing outside, and she had her hands over her ears, her sling already discarded on the floor. He waited till it stopped before he talked again.

"Did you understand why?" he asked. She nodded.

"Yes… No."

"But… Why—"

"You said my mum could hear me if I talked to her. You said it in the funeral."

"Yes…"

"Does it only work for me?"

"No. Ash, what I said—"

"Then it should work for you too. And if she knows you're sorry you shouldn't worry then. Because she knows."

"But… She can't ever say sorry to me," he whispered.

"How do you know that?"

"What?"

"How do you know she hasn't said sorry? She might've."

"But I can never be _sure_…"

"If she hadn't… If she hated you she wouldn't have said you were good." She stared up at him, and Chase could tell she'd meant it. But she was just a little girl, she didn't _really_ understand, did it even count? He shook his head, and kissed Ash goodnight and took her to her bed, then dropped in his own. He thought he was going to fall asleep straight away, but he didn't. He could not help it, every thought that came though his mind was about Claire, and his old house and his old room, his entire life before he left. He struggled to remember her voice, but he couldn't, not even the one from his dream.

The house phone in his night table rang, startling him. He imagined it was _her_ calling, just for a small, beautiful moment. He reached for the phone with a sigh, knowing that would never happen, and pulled it towards his face without lifting himself from the bed.

"Hello," he said, slurring his words slightly. He was too tired, and his head pounded. When the voice from the other side reached him he groaned, and thought of throwing the receiver away.

"Nice of you to pick up," said House.

"House… It's late. Goodbye."

"You enjoy hanging up on me don't you? Why don't you just let it ring?"

"Hanging up is usually quicker. If you have something to say, say it now, otherwise I'd like to keep on sleeping."

"Oh, you're sleeping already? Lucky you. Some of us have to do the work…" The mocking tone, which had not been present at all in the past week, was fully back.

"House!"

"Oh, I just wanted to let you know in case you're interested that the patient has been moved to the morgue. You don't have to come in tomorrow. In fact you don't have to come in at all anymore, not that you'd care. You _specifically_ said you didn't so… Just thought you should know." Chase's mind raced. It had to be a bluff… But it hadn't sounded like a bluff. _Oh God_. He'd overdone it. He hadn't actually wanted to be out of a job. Maybe his deal with Cuddy would hold? It would have to. He was in over his head with expenses; he hardly had any savings…

"Fine," he said. He waited a second in case House was saying anything else, but all he got was the slam of the phone on the other side. He frowned. That was strange. He hung up, dropping the phone softly. It didn't even bother him, he was going to hang up anyway, but for some reason it was odd. And had House really fired him? Or was he still expected to show up in the morning, despite what he had just said? There was no way to know, not with House. He had thought he could get away with it, House had backed off after he came back, he'd imagined he might give him some slack, but after all, he was House.

He lay back again on his pillow, and turned to face the wall. He wondered if he deserved it, everything that had happened. He was guilty, after all. But Claire, in his dream, had said she'd given him a second chance, that she'd turn his luck around. He liked to believe it had not been just a dream, that it was true, but where was his chance? Where was the luck? He was out of a job. He had the sliver of hope that House would take him back, that if he knew what had happened, if he knew the whole story, he would understand… But a patient had died. That meant he had lost, and he'd somehow contributed to that loss. And though he knew House was capable of caring, he doubted he would care now… Cuddy could not just pull him an opening out of thin air, and being fired his prospects were not that good. If he did not get another job soon his permit could be cancelled and he would have to go back to Australia. He did _not_ want to go back to Australia. South Africa sounded better. But still, no job. And he had no funds, he had an expensive car to fix, no insurance, he had Ash depending on him, he was supposed to pay the day-care at the hospital two days ago, he was behind on rent... _God, everything was wrong. _But he would not go back and beg, he would _not beg._

He wished he'd never called. He wished he'd never known. It would've been easier.

i-i-i-i

He lay on the waving yellow grass. There was the blue, blue sky, and the giant tree with its giant shadow, and he could see her walking towards him still tiny in the distance. He knew it was a dream, but he wanted to talk to her, so badly, that he didn't care. He waited there, lying comfortably, the sun was in his eyes but he didn't have to squint, he saw perfectly well. It was so bright, but he wasn't hot, and when she came to his side and lied down next to him he shivered, he felt the air was suddenly chilly.

"I can't do this, Claire," he said. She looked down. "This is all yours. This is your life. It's not mine."

"I didn't ask you to live my life," she whispered.

"But you want me to. Admit it, you want me to, but I can't, I can't take your place. I don't know how. I won't make her happy."

"Rob…"

"Why didn't you leave a will?" he interrupted her, shouting, and his voice echoed. "A proper will, so I could know. You could've helped me. It would've been easier for me..." Now she looked at her hands, and sat up in the grass.

"Sorry to have further complicated your life. I am truly sorry." She let her messy hair fall on her face, covering a soft sniffle, and then she stood, disappearing behind the shadow of the tree.

Chase stood immediately, and ran around the trunk, chasing after her, but it was so wide it never seemed to end, until he reached another, wider plain, in which the grass was dry and pointed and the earth was a darker red. Beyond were granite towers rising from the ground, and besides the giant tree there was nothing but grass, no thorn or bush.

"Claire?" he called. He saw her coming towards him right away, but when she was close he did a double take. Her hair was long now, down to her waist, and fluffy and red like the earth. She wore short shorts and a sleeveless blue shirt, and had long metal earrings that touched her shoulders. She was past Claire, not now Claire. "I'm sorry, I..."

"You're a coward, you know that?" she said, gritting her teeth. Her words hit Chase like a blow. "A coward! You will die, and only a bunch of co-workers will show up for your funeral, you will die without love or family, and you won't have mattered at all. What more luck do you want? What more chance? You have everything! All the possibilities. What more apologies do you need? What will be enough for you?"

Chase stepped back, and took a breath. He felt his head heavy, and his vision blurred. He was shaking.

"How hard could it have been to call me? Why did you hate me so much you deprived me of a family, why didn't you tell me? Why, Claire? I could have had it too."

"Yes you could! And a thousand times, before! But you were cowardly and you ruined every opportunity you had. You could've had your own family, but that you ruined too."

"She left ME, for God's sake! I have nothing now."

"Nothing? Ash is nothing? I'm nothing?"

"It's your damned life, not mine! You are gone and it's gone with you, I can't have it, I can never have it."

"My life isn't gone," she said. She pulled closer, and Chase felt her grabbing his hand very tight. "It's yours! Can't you see? It's only me who's gone, my life is still here, and I give it to you, I want it for you, can't you understand? I am sorry Robbie, but this is all that ever mattered to me, and it's all I can give you."

i-i-i-i

The phone rang, shrilly, and Chase jumped from the bed breathing hard, for a moment he did not know where he was. He could still see waving grass around him, and the bright light took even longer to fade from his mind. He reached for the receiver, knocking his alarm clock, and when he touched the phone he dropped it to the floor, he reached below the bed to pick it up and kicked the covers to the side. He managed to pull it back, the cord tangled and pulling. _It's Claire. It's all been a dream. _He wondered how long it would have to be till he no longer thought of that every time he heard the ring. He picked up, placing it against his ear.

"Hello," he said, surprised at how drowned and hoarse his voice sounded, but the second he spoke he realised he was probably talking to House again, and he regretted it, because now he couldn't just drop the phone. He thought again of his job, and wondered if he'd get it back again. He sighed, and waited for a snarky comment, anything, but there was just a slow in breath and a sigh, far on the other side of the phone. "Hello?"

"God, I'm sorry. I woke you up." It was the voice of a woman, strange and familiar, but he didn't immediately place it.

"It's past midnight… Who is this?" he asked.

"Robert, it's Emma. I'm sorry, it's just morning here, I forgot… Are you all right? You sound… I don't know…" She let her voice fade to nothing, waiting, and Chase held his breath. He suddenly did not wish he'd never called. He should've called sooner.

"I don't think… Not now. But soon."

"You're saying you'll _be _all right… soon?" said Emma, a little hesitant. Chase smiled, and yawned. He turned to his right and saw through his open door Ash's room and her bed. He could just make out the glow of her red hair through the light of the window. He felt suddenly confident.

"Yes."

**A/N: Thank you for reading! I hope you enjoyed this and it would make me very happy if you review, any comments are welcome. I will try to update as soon as possible. Till next time, dear readers (I know you're out there)!**


	8. Chapter 8

**A/N: So after a long, long hiatus, I'm back with this final chapter. To all of you who'd been following this story, I am truly sorry. I will never again post a story I have not yet finished, I think that will be best for all our sanities. I hope you like this epilogue. I've even got a little medical case in this chapter (you'll forgive me the inaccuracies, I study the law). I hope you like this! **

**Disclaimer: As always, I own nothing. **

8.

Chase walked past House's office, seeing it was empty, and he went on, waving to those he met in the hall way as if he had not missed a day. He saw the rest of the team was already in, they were sitting on the brightly lit conference room, reluctantly watching House shooting down each of their theories. It wasn't hard to see the surprise in their faces as he pushed the door open with his foot, and walked in to sit in the last remaining chair. He particularly relished in House's angry shock. He'd missed his job more than he cared to admit.

"Hey" he said. "Sorry, there was traffic."

"Uh... Hi!" Masters said, somewhat nervously. "I thought…"

"So, I'm guessing there's a new case?" The team nodded in silence, and Taub slid the patient file across the table for Chase to reach. He'd already heard the machines beeping and the worried family sleeping on the benches outside the room, and he knew that it was bad. From what Taub had told him, he had some sort of Meningococcal disease but the patient had not responded well to treatment. He skimmed through the file, ignoring House's stare. He counted almost an entire minute before his boss spoke.

"Who paged you?" he said. "I thought you were currently unemployed."

"He is?" said Taub.

"I am?" said Chase, doing his best to act surprised.

"Are you going to pretend I didn't fire you?"

"Cuddy gave me some time off. Two weeks, exactly. She told me to tell you that you have to give notice to fire someone, you can't just do it over the phone." He adjusted himself on his seat for a moment, then looked up at his boss again. House's eyes were wide, but Chase could see no anger despite his obvious attempt to spite him. . "Since I don't see any replacement I guess you were aware I was coming back," he added, then he smiled, folding the file in his hand and reading the first few lines. William Henley, petechial rash, increasing abdominal pain, fever, low hematocrit… He was pretty sure he knew what that was. "So, did you test for—"

"So, you got rid of the kid?" House interrupted. Chase frowned.

"No, she's in day-care. And her name's Ash, by the way." He looked up at the board. House had written meningococcal bacteria in it, but Chase shook his head. "That's not it, he doesn't have meningitis."

"Of course he doesn't. If he had meningitis, I'd have written meningitis. You think I use the longer word for fun? Consider yourself noticed, you're fired."

Chase scoffed. "On what grounds?"

"You can't meet the hours. "

"I'm here, aren't I?"

"Well, you're here _now_, but…"

"House." Chase stood, resting his hands on the table. "You want me to leave? I'll leave. But think about this, who are you going to hire? Are you going to host those ridiculous try-outs again or drag your feet with the interviews? Or are going to get going with this case? I know what this is. That guy on his death bed, he lives by an irrigation canal, doesn't he? Have you been there? Have you tested the water for larvae? Have you tested for dengue?"

"Answer to question number one, Yes, I want you to leave. Number two, I'll manage. Three, no, those tryouts stuck me with Taub. Four, yes, as soon as you let me. Five, yes. Six, no, because someone took two weeks' leave, without leaving any notice by the way. Six, no, for the same reasons. And seven, _of course_ he doesn't have Dengue, you moron, the guy's from Atlanta and he hasn't travelled in years. Now, if you're done wasting my time…"

"He wouldn't have to travel," Masters interrupted. House swivelled in his chair and turned towards her. Masters gulped. "He wouldn't have to travel; there _are _Aedes aegypti mosquito populations as far north as Georgia, capable of carrying dengue. It would only take for one of his neighbours to have travelled and contracted the disease, then any mosquito who bit him would become a carrier."

"Then why haven't we heard of any dengue outbreaks in Georgia?" Taub asked.

"We might. Have you been checking the news in Atlanta? Because I haven't," said Chase, who then turned to House again. "It's dengue, I know it. Not meningitis. Trust me on this, I know you lost a patient two weeks ago but I'm right, this time. I know this job and I can do it."

House stood now, but he did it slowly, and his eyes scanned the room for a moment. Then he pressed his cane in the ground, and lifted his head.

"What are you waiting for? Do the tests!" he said. Masters was startled by the sudden rise in his voice and she jumped for her seat and left the room with the files in her hand. Taub followed her and Chase turned to do the same. "Chase."

"What?" The others left. Chase stood alone by the door, facing House."

"That guy dies, and you leave without another word."

"If he's got dengue, then treatment is supportive, it's not up to me to—"

"If he doesn't have dengue, and you've made the hospital waste money on tests, then you're fired too."

"Since when do you care about the money this hospital spends? Besides, the patient is paying for it. You just want to fire me. Why do you need an excuse?"

"You've just told me, Labour law says I need cause."

"That never stopped you before. Why do you want me gone?"

House stared, his eyes wide and very still. Then he took a deep breath.

"I don't want you gone," he said. Chase narrowed his eyes in surprised, but he waited. There was more. "But I don't think you should still be here."

"Why?"

"You're not an idiot. You know why. You've been here longer than anyone else."

"I can do the hours."

"I've just said, it's not about the hours."

"Then what? You want me to do my own thing? I'm good at this, House."

House looked away. Chase knew he would not answer, so he wasn't surprised by the silence and awkward fiddling that followed. It was about a minute later that House raised his eyes again.

"Just go," he said. Chase nodded, and left the room. He wondered, as he walked away, if he was really happy with this job. Was it right? Was it time for a change? What did House really want? He'd been glad about coming back just a few minutes ago when he came through the door. He thought of Ash, in the day-care that he'd had her promise she would not escape from, and he wasn't so sure anymore.

I-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-i

When Chased walked into the lab, Taub was reading the file, while a pathologist handled the sample he'd brought.

"Are you doing a nucleic acid test?" he asked. Taub shook his head.

"Too expensive. Family wouldn't do it for a disease there's no specific cure for, we're doing an antigen detection. Did you go and see the patient?"

"There's no longer any bleeding, but I checked every symptom. They all fit. Masters is with him right now. He's on his fifth day, going into the critical phase. If it's dengue, he should start recovering tomorrow as the virus leaves his system."

"Then let's hope it _is_ dengue. Antigen detection isn't the most accurate, but if he gets better it should be good enough. None of the other options that we haven't ruled out already offer the man a better prognosis." He raised his eyes at the pathologist, and asked her a few questions about the test. Chase turned away. "You should go and talk to the patient, if he still can. I'm good here."

"You're sure about that?"

Taub rolled his eyes.

"It's not like we need to hurry this test. Or did House make its result a condition for your employment?"

"Something like that…" said Chase. He started for the door.

"How's your niece, by the way?" Taub asked. Chase turned back, and smiled.

"She's fine. I need to start looking for a school, though."

"Good luck with that."

He left the lab, and headed back to the patients room. Masters was inside, but Chase had a feeling the man would not be in the best shape to answer any questions. A woman sitting in a bench outside stood when she saw him, and she approached him. Her name was Andrea Henley, he'd read it in the file. She had dark bags under her eyes, and her hair was in a mess. She was the patient's wife; he remembered seeing her in the morning by the guy's bed. She was just noticeably pregnant, and she looked like a wreck, when she was close enough she grabbed his arm with a strong grip and did not let go.

"Are you one of Will's doctors?" she asked. "One of you came in inside and told me to step out. What's going on?" Her voice was shrill with worry and despair. Chase tried to sound reassuring, and he did not pull his arm away. He could find out what he wanted to know from her.

"Mrs. Henley, we think we know what's wrong with him, and if we're right, he should be getting better tomorrow if there aren't any complications. He just needs support until the disease runs its course."

"What disease? What do you think he has?"

"I believe he's got dengue hemorrhagic fever. It's not usually a fatal disease; he's just had an acute infection."

"Isn't that a… a tropical disease? Why would he get that? He's never been abroad in his life."

"Yes, but maybe a neighbour, or a relative, someone that's been in your neighbourhood has recently been to the tropics?"

"Well…" The woman seemed about to deny it, but then she looked like she remembered something. "There's this friend of Will's, he's a teacher in Panama. But he was only with is for a few days, he's back there now, how could he have passed it on to Will?"

"Dengue fever is not contagious, it's carried by mosquitoes."

"We have a lot of those back home."

"Yes. One of those mosquitoes must have bit your friend, and then bit your husband."

"So Will's friend… He's sick too."

"He must be. Do you have a way of contacting him?"

"I think he left his information at home. I'd have to call and ask."

i-i-i-i-i-i

It took Andrea Henley almost half an hour to get someone to go to her house, and rummage through all their mess, but eventually they found the paper with the number and email they were looking for. She wrote a message, but Chase called right away. The phone rang at least ten times before it was picked up.

"I'm in class, call later," the man said, and hung up. Chase groaned in frustration, and called again and again until the man picked up.

"Yes?" he said, exasperation evident in his tone. There were loud voices in the background.

"This is John Schier? I'm Doctor Robert Chase from Princeton Plainsboro Teaching Hospital. I'm calling about your friend, Will Henley." The man cursed, and then let out a breath.

"One moment, please," he said, and Chase heard a muffled apology. The background noise stopped. "What's wrong with Will?"

"He might be sick with dengue fever. I'm aware you live in Panama. Have you contracted the disease?"

"No, I don't think so."

"Have you been feeling sick at all this last week?"

"No, I'm fine." Chase sighed. He'd been so sure.

"Do you know of anyone in your town that has contracted dengue?"

"Man, I'd never even heard of dengue. It must have been someone else. Let me know how Will's doing."

Chase hung up the phone, and cursed under his breath. It had to be dengue. It all fit, the time frame, the mucosal bleeding, the abdominal pain, the petechial rash… He knew the disease and its course well. Melbourne was outside the A. Aegypti mosquito's range, but it had still been common, and he'd treated a number of cases while he was still a student. He just needed to find his patient zero.

"He's asleep," said Masters, when he came in. Will Henley was in his mid-thirties, and he fitted cars with sound systems for a living. He wasn't a farm or a vet, nor did he come in close contact with animals. He didn't even have a dog. "Test came back negative for Leptospirosis. When will the dengue test be ready?"

"It'll take a while. And it's not the most accurate of tests." Chase looked down at the man. "I need to talk to him. Can we wake him up?"

"He's on pain medication."

"But can we wake him up? It's important, if it's not dengue I need to look for something else."

Masters shrugged. "I suppose you can wake him. He won't like it though."

Chase checked on his dosage, and he reduced the anaesthetics. Then he sat back and waited for the patient to wake.

"How's everything with your niece?" Masters asked. It had taken her almost two minutes. Chase had expected it sooner. The answer he'd given to Taub rolled to his mouth but he stopped it before it came out. Instead, he tried something more honest.

"It's getting better."

"Yeah?"

"Yes. She's still homesick, but she likes me more, now. The giant stuffed koala I gave her might have something to do with it, though…" he said. Masters chuckled softly, and continued to check on the patient.

"What girl doesn't like a giant stuffed koala."

"Exactly."

"So, uh… she doesn't mind the day care and that?"

Chase looked down. He tried to delay his answer, because it reminded him of what House had said and the decision he still had to make. When Will Henley gasped awake he was relieved that the conversation would be cut short.

"Sir? Can you hear me?" he asked. The man took a moment to focus, and then he fixed his eyes on Chase.

"Who are you?" he asked.

"I'm one of your doctors. I need to ask you some questions."

"Questions…." He looked away, slowly closing and opening his eyes again. He looked bone tired, and in pain.

"Please, sir, it's important. Do you know of anyone in your neighbourhood that's been abroad recently?"

"What?"

"Do know anyone who's been in your neighbourhood that's been abroad in the past week?"

"My friend… John Schier."

"Yes, besides John Schier."

"I… I don't…" Will closed his eyes. He looked too tired to speak, and after a few seconds Chase thought he was out again, but then he opened his eyes and they were strangely clear. "Mrs. Daniels. She was talking a few months back about… taking a cruise ship… Aruba, someplace like that. She must be back now, but… I haven't seen her." He closed his eyes again. He didn't open them this time, and Chase stood back and let him sleep. He met Mrs. Henley at the door.

"Do you know a Mrs. Daniels?" he asked. She frowned.

"She's a in the board for our condominium, but I don't think Will knows her…"

"He's just told us she went on a cruise ship. Can you find us her number?"

Andrea Henley seemed suspicious, but she complied. However, after hours of calling without getting a reply, Chase gave up. He wouldn't be able to prove it was dengue until the next day, and he felt strangely bad about having to tell this to House. He'd wanted to be right, absolutely and unequivocally _right._ This wasn't it. And he didn't want to go. No matter the bad hours, the pressure, or all the crap that House gave him sometimes, he wanted to stay. He headed back to the lab to check if the tests were ready, but his shoulders were slumped. He had little hopes for the test to come out positive. It was not a good test, and they'd done it too late in the cycle.

"Is it ready?" he asked Taub.

"Not yet. The patient?"

"Stable. Heart-rate's slow. Master's watching in case there's a seizure, which can be expected at this stage…"

"You're so sure it's dengue?"

"No, I'm not. But what else can it be? I read it in the file, everything else has been ruled out. I was trying to find the source, but so far I haven't had any luck."

"So House is firing you then?"

"He won't. I think he wants me to quit."

"Why would he want you to quit? He doesn't want the hospital to pay you benefits or something?"

Chase shrugged. "I don't know." He straightened up, and headed for the door. "Let me know when we have something."

Head bent down, he walked to House's office. He wasn't going to quit, he was going to tell him he would stay, but without a positive result to back him up it wouldn't have the impact and the weight he'd wanted. It was silly, but he'd really wanted to solve this thing, he'd really wanted to know that he could. He hated this uncertainty.

He was about to open the door to House's office when Master's head popped from behind a door down the hall, and she waved him towards her. He let go of the handle he'd been holding and he went to her, aware that House was starting from behind the glass. He hoped that Will Henley wasn't dead. No, he would've been paged if he was crashing.

"What is it?" he asked.

"She's dead," said Masters. She had a strange grin in her face.

"Who's dead?" Chase looked around. Mrs. Henley wasn't in the bench anymore.

"Not Andrea! Mrs. Daniels. Iva Daniels, living in house 2-B, in a suburb of Atlanta. The Henleys lived in 2-D. The tenants of 2-C were visiting family in Minnesota and the ones in 2-A have recently had their house foreclosured by the bank. Mortgage debt, but that's not important. Iva Daniels was fifty eight and had no family in Atlanta, she lived alone. She's been dead for three days. No one's seen her since she came back from the Caribbean, and the manager who called the number you left in the messages said she looked like she'd had a nosebleed. A nosebleed. She's patient zero."

"So it is dengue…" Chase muttered.

"Yes. Mr. Henley will pass the critical phase tonight, go into recovery tomorrow." Masters smiled like a little girl who'd won a price, but Chase wasn't very excited. This could mean an outbreak in Atlanta. And Will Henley…

Both their pagers went off. Masters looked down at his.

"Damn it," she said, her smile gone, and they both rushed to the patient's room. They could hear the alarms from the hallway.

"It's a seizure," said Chase. Taub was already there, holding the man down as he shook. Outside, Andrea Henley sobbed, but the seizures soon subsided. When Chase came out to talk to her, her husband was stable again. He told her it was dengue, but that the worse was over. Will Henley would be all right. Then, only after saying those words, did he feel good about it, and he walked into House's office feeling proud.

"I'm staying," he said. House looked up from his grey and red ball

"The patient?"

"Is alive. And it _was_ dengue. I was right."

"Congratulations," said House, but his tone was not very congratulatory. He grabbed a clipboard on top of his desk, and he threw it at him. "Here's your prize."

"What's this?"

"Clinic duty. Seeing as Cuddy cut your hours, you'll have the time to do mine."

Chase smiled. As he went down the hallway he heard the distinct thudding of House's cane as he walked back to his office, and he felt good about his choice. He was proud to have stayed. He knew he would leave eventually, but he would not do it like this. House had given him an out, but Chase could tell he had not _really _wanted for him to take it. He stared at the clipboard and reckoned that was as good as an apology as he was going to get, and it was more than enough. He was back.

I-i-i-i-i-i-i

Ash was showing off with a xylophone when Chase came to pick her up at the day-care, almost a full month after they come back. It was seven pm, and there were still a bunch of kids inside. She was playing the theme song for Peter Pan and she had her tongue out in the corner of her mouth like she did when she was concentrating, but when she saw Chase through the window she jumped up and waved. She grabbed her things and ran out to meet him at the door. He was only a little late this time.

"We should get a xylophone!" she said. No 'hey-hey' or anything, straight to the point, and when she hugged Chase's arm, he smiled.

"Last week it was a piano. Now you want a xylophone? You should learn how to play the violin I gave you," he said. She shrugged.

"Your violin's too big. You said we didn't have space for a piano, but xylophones are small! You can fit one in a drawer."

"But why do you want a xylophone if you can play one here?"

"But here I don't have it just for me... And I can't take it home with me, either." She skipped ahead in the hallways of the hospital, on the way to the car. She knew the hospital by heart now. She'd escaped day-care more than once. She didn't know Chase knew about every time.

"Mmm, you have a good point. But isn't the xylophone like… a downgrade from the piano?" he said. She frowned.

"A what?"

"A downgrade. You know, because the piano is big and it has lots of keys and notes, so it's better, and the xylophone, well… It's like a recorder. Everyone can play it."

"That's not true! Everyone knows Hot Cross Buns and Mary Had A Little Lamb, but they don't know any _real_ songs."

"But there are songs that can only be played at the piano, right? Like that one from the Lion King that you liked… You can't play that in a xylophone."

"I can, too. It just doesn't sound as well because it's not complete."

"Then we agree that a piano is better than a xylophone."

"Yes, but you said we didn't have space for a piano!" Ash raised her voice to an exasperated shriek, but she was smiling, starting to realise Chase was just teasing. She crossed her arms, her forehead wrinkled. She had her bag in her back but she'd forgotten to close it, and Chase could see the red and white paper of a letter that had arrived for her in the mail that morning. A letter from Emma, that she had wanted to read on her own; she was a slow reader, but she could manage with a letter. Chase was glad Emma was writing and calling every now and then to check up on Ash, she'd been Claire's best friend and she'd known Ash since the day she was born, it was obvious she cared deeply for her. She helped Ash not miss her home so much. And he also didn't mind talking to her, either, mostly about Claire. He missed her so much he couldn't understand why he had not thought of her more often when she was alive, why he had not missed her then, but he no longer felt bitter. He had Ash, who drove him out of his mind sometimes, who was becoming more talkative by the day and who was so much like Claire he felt he was a big brother again. He was thankful. Claire had given him a life of his own; to complete the job he still loved and did so well. He felt whole again.

i-i-i-i-i-i

"Ash, over here," said Chase, taking a turn in the hallway. Ash doubled back and followed him.

"Where are we going? Are we picking up Bara today?"

"No, she's still in quarantine. But don't worry they're taking good care of her."

"I think they've stolen her. They said it would only be a week and it's been _ages_."

"No one's stolen her, Ash. It's just that she's a wild animal and it's not easy for people to travel with them. They need to check we didn't get her from the wild and all that."

"But she was born in my mum's classroom! The airport people stole her." She threw her head back in frustration, and skipped ahead. Chase didn't call after her, but smiled when he saw her stop just a few metres ahead, next to the doors to the chapel. A few steps closer and he could hear the music too, the upbeat starting tune of Baba O'Riley. Ash turned to him, beaming, and she opened the door. There were people in the chapel, but no one seemed to mind the music. Behind the large piano, House was rocking his head softly to the rhythm of the song, and when it came to an end he raised a hand up in the air.

_"Out here in the fields!"_ he called out. Someone at the back stood and left, others just smiled. Ash laughed, and went for the piano.

"That's awesome," she said. Chase stood by the door, and chuckled. Ash liked that word, awesome. For the past week, everything had been awesome.

"Awesome?" said House. "Try amazing. Genius!" Ash laughed again. House made a space for her at the bench. She started playing the first notes for Part Of Your World from The Little Mermaid. House interrupted her by slamming on the graver notes, and few others left the chapel.

"Why did you do that?" Ash complained. House scoffed.

"You're interrupting my playing time, so I'm going to choose. Do you only know Disney soundtracks?"

"No," said Ash, rolling her eyes. Her fingers pressed lightly on the keys and she started Auld Lang Syne, but House cut her short again. "Stop!" She turned to Chase. "Rob, tell him to stop."

"Yeah,_ Rob_, and go bring us some drinks while you're at it."

"Forget it, House," said Chase. When the front row was cleared he sat there, waiting for the music to come again.

"All right, then what song?" asked Ash.

"A real one," said House. "Can you follow me?"

"I think so…"

House pressed his fingers and started a soft, high tune. It was simple, and Chase recognised it immediately, but he could not remember the name of the song. It was an old one, though, and he was sure Ash would not know it, but she followed in seamlessly in the higher notes, repeating the same section over and over again.

"Like it?" House asked.

"Yes."

"It's Jim Steinman." He pressed the keys a little bit hard, and he turned to Ash and sang a part. "_Making lo-ove… out of nothing at all…!" _She giggled.

"Sing all of it."

"No."

"Please?"

"No."

"Please-please?"

"Do you think a repeat word is more effective? NO."

"Rob can play the violin. Maybe we can do a duet!"

"That's not going to happen," said House. He went on with the more complicated parts of the song, now with both hands on the keys stretching over to Ash's side, pushing her away. She tried to press the amplifiers at the bottom but her feet dangled and she couldn't reach. She stepped away from the bench, and went next to the wall. She pulled the plug, leaving the chapel in silence. House turned, surprised, as she stood there still holding the cable.

"Why did you do that?"

"You interrupted me first," she said.

He stared back at the piano. "I need to speak to Cuddy about getting a real piano…" he muttered. Ash still stood there and her smile curved sharply upwards, she looked permanently mischievous. "Chase?"

"Yeah?" Chase stood from the bench.

"I think I'm going to keep her, and get rid of you."

Chase laughed. "Not a chance, House."

**A/N: And that's the end! Yay! Leave reviews if you like. I know it's been a long hiatus but I'd love you if you did. Until next time! **


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